Silver Fanny Packs and Dying Goats

Being able to sleep in til 5am on a Monday is pretty much like an early Christmas.

...Minus Jesus and the need to give anyone anything lined in fleece.

I slept like a baby.  Like a 130lb, slightly anxious and caffeine-addicted baby.

It was beautiful.

I must confess that my sleep habits have not improved since moving to the city, and perhaps have slipped further into a state of I'm-so-sleep-deprived-and-dangerously-close-to-making-poor-decisions-at-any-moment.  Many of you know exactly what I'm talking about and have operated in this state for way too long.

Perhaps I'm still trying to find a groove from the past 2 weekends.  Ah yes, girls weekend...

3 of my dearest girlfriends from NC made the trek up to the big city last Friday.  If the Universe felt aligned its because the 4 of us were together, being ridiculous, and solving world problems between coffee binges.

It was wonderful to see them and laugh our way through the weekend.

I keep telling myself we've grown up, and yes we have,...BUT then there's that moment when I'm fairly certain our dinner conversation completely offended everyone within earshot.  Amazingly none of us feel the need to apologize.  We're more likely to say you're welcome.

So between a little shopping, great food, and some insurmountable karaoke moments, it was quite the time.  No, I did not get on stage myself.
Have you ever heard a dying goat?
Exactly.
No one desires to hear that.  But you can bet your sweet rearend that when the music was loud enough to drown out my vocals, I was hitting notes all over the place.  Thank God for amps and temporary hearing loss.
Huge props to my girls Ashley and Blair who managed to crank out a memorable NC gal version of "Shoop".
...And this is why we're friends...

In fitness related news, I am preparing myself for the beginning-of-the-year folks.  Christmas is just around the corner, which generally means one last casserole blow-out before the stretchy pants head into retirement.
I get it.  Mine are getting a workout as well.
So cheers to mentally preparing for a new year and pants without an elastic waist.  I have many thoughts to come on this topic as we approach 2015.  Thoughts on health, perspective, and an overall sense of forward momentum in life.
Life's too short and too awesome to remain stagnant.

Christmas,...
I honestly cannot believe its just around the corner.  I head to NC in less than a week to hang out with the Parker crew and I couldn't be more stoked.  Its been roughly 2 1/2 months since I've seen those crazy folks and loved on my nieces and nephew.  To say Aunt Mena will be in rare from when the plane lands is an understatement.
Sparkles is probably prancing around getting the house ready in her Christmas attire.  God bless her.  98% chance she'll rock the festive sweater vest and my day will be made.
No judgement.  Its free entertainment.
To be honest, I almost bought her a matching fanny pack on Canal St last weekend.  I think the only thing that stopped me was knowing I was enabling her.  I've seen Intervention way too many times to know that the enabler is a problem, and although we are not dealing with heroine or meth in this instance, one might argue a metallic-silver fanny pack is just as bad...

Well, on that fashion note, its back to the grind for yours truly.  One more client and then back to my shoe box for the evening.
Life is GOOD.

24601

Well, the Christmas decor is up and I'm practically running around harking the herald.  That makes no sense,...I need my coffee to kick in asap.

Its amazing how much space a 4' tree seems to take up in a studio apartment.  I almost opted for a branch and one silver ball.  I feel you Charlie Brown, I feel you.

I do have this horrible feeling though that when I return from the gym Oscar will be trying to digest an ornament and pooping glitter like a fairy.
82% chance.

What a solid weekend.
I went to my first Broadway production Saturday night and have to say it was nothing short of phenomenal.  It was definitely a NY highlight and left me very aware of my inability to remotely carry a tune.
I can't.
I deserve to have my larynx removed and the theatre would literally clear out from pure fear of more to come.
So thankfully I was not a part of the cast of Les Miserables, and wow what an unbelievable show.   Dinner, show, post-show coffee,...awesome night in the Big Apple.

Training is going well, very well.
Of course I am meeting some amazing people, and grateful for the opportunity to impact more lives outside the NC borders.  And the ridiculous comments that come immediately following a tough set or hard cardio interval are pretty much as brash as in the south...and actually, a little more colorful.
I was compared to Satan the other day.
Followed by a smile.
That was interesting.

Speaking of training,...here we go...
Its been a beautiful struggle the last few weeks in my own training.  Not as much of a mental/focus issue, but more about assessing where I am and where I want to go.  I've spent the last few years navigating some rough waters with work load, divorce, relocation, and sheer exhaustion from the gravity of it all.  Yes, my training kept me sane, but it lacked a clear, definitive goal outside of not dropping a weight on my face or making myself bleed on the treadmill.
It simply was not the time to add another thing on my plate that required such a high level of dedication and focus.
But here I am.
Stronger.  Wiser.  And now open to the possibility of a long term goal to give my training specific direction.  Well, life is funny sometimes and timing is everything...

As I entertained these thoughts and pinpointing what that goal looks like, I was approached by someone near and dear to me who asked me to compete in a show with him next August.
There was no question.
It was an internal YES,...so we're headed back to the stage.
I am absolutely thrilled, but it will be different.  I'm shifting from Figure to Bikini for this show, and going through a Natural federation.  All new and exciting things, and excited to share the experience with someone I admire and who can absolutely call forth my best in my most exhausted and potentially doubtful moments.
Thank God for those people.

So that's the news on this end.  Meanwhile I'll keeping sucking down this coffee and start preparing for the next 9 months.
Its like I'm having a baby.
Minus the lactating and randos touching my belly.  Side note: that's just weird.  I don't know you.  You don't know my fetus.  Why are you caressing my growing uterus?

I'll stop there.

   

Hello 1987...

Is it really November?...Geez...
Pretty soon I'll be decking the halls and watching Elf like its my job.  Oh, and burning overpriced Yankee candles because the smell of "Christmas Eve" is worth the nostalgic moment when your nose hits the jar,...and suddenly you're standing in front of your stocking at 7 years old in the horrible onesie zipper pj's that are guaranteed to cause severe sweating and prevent an emergency trip to the bathroom.
You know exactly what I'm talking about.
And heck yes I would rock a pair at 31 years old.  You mean to tell me I can basically have my socks attached to my pants?  Umm heck yes, sign me up.  At 2am I'm never thrilled about searching for a missing sock in the sheets.
Horrible.

Equinox life is treating me very well.  Honestly, I am thrilled with the club, my growth, and the push from my managers to constantly improve.  Sleep deprived?  Eh, maybe,...but whatever, I love what I do, and God made coffee.
Look at me Mom, problem solver.
But seriously, my move to NY has only been confirmed over and over.  I feel extremely blessed.

In random city news, my shin splints are finally healing from all the walking.  Only took over 4 weeks...ha.  I've also invested in leg warmers.  These things make absolute sense to me now.
Its chilly in the morning....Spandex pants expose ankles....Ankles get cold....I have a secret desire to relive the 80's....Answer: leg warmers.
Logical, progressive thinking.
And honestly, I might fully commit to the look and crimp the hair simply because it feels right.  Throw in a scrunchy and some acid-wash and I'll pretty much live free in my own little 80s dream.
Judge me.  Fine.  Not your dream.

So, holidays are coming up and I'll be completely candid and say that I am fully preparing to miss the heck out of my family.  I will be with them for Christmas, but it is the first time ever that I won't be with them on Thanksgiving.
It saddens me, yes, but its just a year of change.  I miss my nieces and nephew like there's no tomorrow and spend quite a bit of time scrolling through their pictures and videos.  It definitely puts quality time spent together in perspective...

On that note, I am headed out for round 8 of coffee.
First step is admitting you have a problem.
I fully admit I have a problem...

From the Big Apple...

Where in the world do I begin?!
To say the last few weeks has been a ride on the crazy train would be an understatement.
I needed a helmet.
Yes, I successfully moved to Manhattan.  However, the journey to get to this point was nothing short of madness.
I ended my nearly 10 year stent at ActivEdge on a Monday, and had a one-way ticket for NY that same Thursday.  The plan was to come up, stay in a hotel for 2 nights while I finalized everything for my apartment, and then move in by the weekend before I had to report to work on Monday.
Wellllll, things didn't exactly go as planned and by Saturday night I was testing the limits of my anti-anxiety meds.  Modern medicine is a beautiful thing.

Long story short, apartment was not ready by Saturday, and at that point I was literally having to take it day by day,...not a good sign when the hotel workers know you by name and ask you every morning if you'll be back.  Everyday it was "I have no clue...but if so, please make the bed."  I like a well-made bed.  Its the little things.  Maybe I like it because I'm not the one wrestling with the sheets in an attempt to make it look halfway decent.  It never does when I do it.  I end up throwing the comforter over the entire thing and bathe in my own apathy.
Ridiculous.
So there I was Monday morning reporting for work at my new home.
Before I get sidetracked, let me just say a  huge thank you to my Equinox team.  Wow.  I have never felt more welcomed.  Its been amazing and I am extremely fortunate.  They have definitely been a major source of sanity a midst my INsanity.

...Monday rolls around and no apartment.
I thought for sure by Tuesday I'd be in so I officially checked out of the hotel and had them hold my bags until I could come back after work.  Great plan.  Siiiiike.
I returned from the gym only to find out that I needed another night in the hotel.  Fine,...except that they were booked.
Completely booked.
Holy crap, homeless at 8:30 at night and needed a place asap....out of the 58 nearest hotels, 56 were booked.
I kid you not, I'm sitting there staring at the prices for the last 2 left thinking they better include a bedtime story, foot massage, and wake up call that starts with "Good morning Awesome."
I don't ask for much.

So yes, I made my way to yet another hotel for a single night stay.  I laid on the bed exhausted.  I laughed as a recapped everything to my mom on the phone,...fairly certain she was about to have a slight meltdown knowing I was basically roaming the streets of New York.  Eh,..everything works out.
I am now in my apartment and living the claustrophobic dream.
I have no clue how my brothers and I got everything in there, but its in.  And yes, shoe storage was immediately an issue,  I got rid of about 15 pairs.
I know.  The world is coming to an end.  It hurt my soul.  But the fact is that I didn't need them and in roughly 450sq ft, you prioritize fast.  It was either the shoes or the cat and crazy as it is, I've grown quite fond of that feline despite his tendency to yack on the floor.
Everything else is shoved in places that were probably not meant for storage, but you do what you have to.  I practically have to pole-vault into my bed because its jacked up so high for storage bins underneath.  And if the shelving in the closets give way while I'm standing in front, I might literally die.

I feel like there is so much to catch up on.
I've had numerous NC  clients reach out since I moved here, and I can't possibly express just how amazing that feels.  There is so much transition going on in my life right now and lack of a steady rhythm, so to have that support and care comforts me.  Fuels me.  Inspires me to move forward.
Thank you.
Meeting new people and connecting with clients here has been easy.  For those of you trapped in the stereotypical line of thinking that all New Yorkers are brash, unhappy, and rude,...I'd challenge you on that one.  I have not had once negative experience.  Especially when it comes to business/customer service.  Its been exceptional.

My schedule is all over the place right now as I am building clientele.  A few days last week I got home at 10:30,...I couldn't move.
BUT, I am loving it.  The city is great, the gym is more than I expected, and I'm gradually able to completely LIVE in this new chapter.  Very exciting :)

More updates to come...I promise it won't take as long!

Tears and Beers...

6 days until New York.

The reality of the change ahead has yet to hit me. 
Despite the fact that I've cried with numerous clients over the last 2 weeks, I still predict I'll wake up on October 3rd in my 400sq ft box and think holy crap...
Silver lining: the walk to the coffee went from 75 steps to 4.  Its the little things.

No, I am not fully packed.  I gutted by closet of 6 garbage bags full of clothes, and still managed to fill several large boxes to take with me.  What a hoarder....I judge myself....(for about 2 seconds, lets be honest).
And the apartment situation has been a roller coaster to say the least.  I may be sleeping on a treadmill at the gym...or floor.  Not the first time.
Its been applications, fees, forms, money, and practically sending a urine sample to get approved. 
I have no shame, I would have overnighted it in a zip-lock.  
Thank God for my broker.  I think we've become best friends in the last 2 weeks, and constantly joke about going out for drinks once this ordeal is over.  Only, after 6 hours worth of texts, emails, and phone calls on Saturday, we are no longer kidding.  The day I arrive you will find us sitting side by side on bar stools, exhausted, and serenading each other to Journey ballads.
I owe him a shot.
And maybe a kidney.

Ah Gary,...thank you my dear friend...

Yes, its been an emotional week/weeks.  Friday night was my Send-off party hosted at a clients' house, and all day I'd reminisced on my 9+ years at ActivEdge.  I jokingly told them I know they came just to watch their trainer drink booze and cry....hello normal Friday night.
Kidding.
I like to save the tears for Saturday morning.  Spread them out.  Enjoy them.
Ok, that's an exaggeration too.  I can't formulate tears in the morning.  I'm a zombie in need of caffeine and anxiety meds.  The only time I may let them flow is if either of those things suddenly vanishes at 4am.
In that case, you will see me on the news...

In all seriousness, I was absolutely floored by the love, encouragement, and kind words of those who came.  There is no way I can truly articulate my appreciation.
I am grateful for those transparent moments.
...for the opportunity to push and empower souls.
...for those who allowed me to pull them away from themselves, and direct them forward into the unknown.
...for the laughs, tears, and victories accomplished in the gym,...only to see them transcend beyond.
...for the inspiring stories that push me, and call forth my best as a trainer, friend, daughter, sister, aunt, etc
I could go on.
What I have learned in my time at ActivEdge drives me.  It leaves me constantly assessing where I am and where I want to go.  The opportunity to reach an array of people and open their eyes to their own potential is, without a doubt, one of the greatest gifts.
I value this beyond words.
It is a venue for growth, change, and ultimately a renewed sense of self, strength, and ability to overcome.  For me to be a part of that, has certainly changed my own life and challenged me to seek improvement...daily.
Thank you.

Saying goodbye stings...its hard to step away from the journeys I've co-traveled for years and onto a foreign path.  But I remain grateful for the time we've shared and take what I've learned to the next chapter in NYC. 
Perhaps it is accurate to say I will leave with a heavy and yet fulfilled heart.  ActivEdge is a home to me.  A family, and remains a huge piece of who I am and where my story began....

Love.  You.  All.

A few pics from the party...

Answering My YES...

I swear, when I kill a fly barehanded you would think I just won at life. 
I fist pump,...point my finger at it and yell like a psychotic bully,...then I proceed to look around as if a crowd of cheers is about to erupt.  Its sad, and yet I feel like a ninja every time.
Every.  Single.  Time.
(I just had one of those moments and am currently still basking in my victory).

So FINALLY,...I can explain why I've been MIA for the last 2 weeks.  Its certainly not been a lack of entertaining moments in my life.  Every day is an adventure. 
I say that like I'm Peter Pan.  I'm not. 
However, I am a big fan of colorful spandex, flying, and adventure.
No, life is bringing new and exciting changes.
I've been traveling like a nomad the past few weeks, and I definitely had those moments of waking up forgetting what day it was, where I was, and if I was running late....to what exactly, I have no clue.  Nonetheless, I am here in one piece and functioning like a decent human being.

Long story short(er),...after 31 years in this area and 10 years at ActivEdge, I am leaving North Carolina.
Earlier this year I reached a point in my journey/career when something was off.  I was ready for "the next step", but couldn't quite pinpoint what that looked like.  Was it gym ownership?  Was it a move?  I wasn't quite sure.  I waited.
A few months later it hit me like a damn freight train.  New York.
I can't explain it, but it was a deep internal "yes" that kept growing and I couldn't ignore it.  I entertained other cities and every time something brought me back to New York.  And once I allowed myself to fully commit and make the decision, the ball started rolling,...and with extreme momentum.
Things were lining up and next thing I knew I was getting emails regarding my resume and setting up interviews.  I had to bite the bullet on airfare and simply trust that my needs would be met and must do this to go after what I wanted.  I knew was the right decision.
Believe me, there were moments when I wanted to cry...like when I missed my return flight on Wednesday and suddenly found myself yelling obscenities as if that would somehow get me home.  It didn't...but a fast cab driver and a record breaking sprint through airport #2 did.  But also, being overwhelmed and exhausted with traveling up for only 8 hours, getting 3 hours sleep before a 14 hour work day, selling a house, packing, blah blah blah.  Never a dull moment. 
But what was the other option right?  Ignore my calling and basically talk myself back into a comfort zone that ironically has no longer become just that??
Not an option.
I had to say "yes" to my "yes".

So here I am 3 weeks before my official move still arranging a place to live.  Ha.
I am thrilled to say that I accepted a job with Equinox on 54th and 2nd and am excited to join the team in October!....and yay for being able to wear all black to work each day.  (My clients are used to my ninja-esk attire)  ;)
I'm bringing 10 years experience and some southern love to my new home.  Yes, I was quickly made aware that my accent does exist and is evident in pretty much everything I say...
I make no apologies. 

If you told me last year at this time I'd be moving there it would have been grounds for defriending and possibly a panic attack.  Heck, it was just last year that I was awkwardly aboard the subway with a strangers crotch to my face.  Nothing says come-live-here like sex organs on the metro.
...And now here I am trying to figure out how to store over 160 pairs of shoes in a 500 sq ft apartment and justify sleeping in a twin bed.
Ok kidding, the twin bed is not happening....2 things I gave up after college: twin bed and poor life choices after 2am. 
Ok fine, one thing.
So New York,...brace yourself...

There will be much more to come.  Many thoughts and reflections as I say goodbye to some clients I have literally worked with for nearly 10 years.  I am already completely humbled by the kind words and support from so many of you. 
Thank you....I can't say it enough.  You are the reason I can do what I love and boldly pursue the next step...

Niblings, Siblings, and Needles

I think I have PTSD.
Going to Target in the middle of the day is a mistake for numerous reasons, but mainly because if you have functional hearing you are in for a treat.  And by "treat" I mean your shopping experience will be serenaded by screaming children all over the store.
You know its time to leave the premises when you start having the it-wouldn't-be-so-bad-to-be-deaf-right-now thoughts.  I admit I had a few of those. 
And to the woman on aisle 7 with a herd of crying kids, if you're wondering how the tylenol and condoms got into your cart,....you're welcome.
I do what I can.

Well, I officially learned that even at 31 you can still manage to disappoint your parents.  Looking back, I should have told mom with a preface story recalling one of my better moments in life,...OR put things in perspective with an at-least-I'm-not-doing-this statement.  Eh, too late now.  But yes, I could feel judgement oozing from the phone when I told Sparkles I got a tattoo.
Ha, aaaaand I resume my place as the least favorite child. 
Kidding, its a toss-up between all of us at any given moment....thus, I will wait for my brothers to say something offensive and distract from my ink.
Whenever you are ready guys...

On a more sane note, its been a solid start to the week in the gym.  Several clients have made huge strides over the last couple of months, and truly meeting goals and kicking ass on many levels.
I love it.
When I get texts about meal planning and healthy choices made at a restaurant I literally want to jump around and fist pump.  Some times I do....and its definitely worth it.
I have one client who is down roughly 11 pounds this month and she is just beaming from ear to ear.  Because its more than about the weight.
Its a monumental empowering lesson to her about HER strength, determination, and ability to set goals and demolish them.
To say this will be a catalyst for future successes is an understatement.  So proud of her.

 Well, a little travel tomorrow and then back to the grind on Thursday.  Hump day AND people watching in the airport, ummm heck yes sign me up.
Make it a great week folks...Life awaits....

OH, and big news to come.... ;)

Sweet Salem...

Well, I just managed to leave my mark on the PT table in the back. 
It was an impromptu post-workout nap, and I ended up face down practically in a coma for about 30 minutes.  I was having a lazy moment because I honestly didn't want to take a shower. 
...suddenly I feel the need to explain...
It is not that I am striving for an unsanitary award or simply trying to conserve water (although that sounds good),...showers just feel like too much effort sometimes.   
The physically act of peeling off sweaty spandex is a workout in itself, and by 1:30 in the afternoon I'm more apt to say screw it, smell horrible for 30 more minutes, and catch a nap.  Mainly because once I'm asleep I am completely unaware of my filth.
See what I did there?...
;)

What an eventful week in the Parker family.
The little fetus with a penis has arrived safe and soundly into the world.  It was awesome to see that little guy at the hospital, despite the fact that every time I walk into the birthing center I am overwhelmed by the smell of baby butt and breast milk.  Thankfully, the family's excitement distracts me from a complete dry-heaving spell.  That would be good for no one.
Long story short, it was a wonderful time on the 5th floor with all the Parkers gathered.  Amazingly, we didn't get kicked out.....even when I attempted to "ride" some contraption in the hallway.  I still have yet to know what it was....and my hip hurts...

Salem James Parker....ah, I am already smitten by this hunk of a baby.  My duties of being an Aunt have begun: total spoilage.  I like to think I am mastering this art.

Mom, dad, baby, and sisters are all doing great and are home now,...let the chaos of 3 children begin!  Honestly, I have no clue how my parents did it without medication and straight jackets.
Not to say they were perfect,...I mean, I was left at practice or school a few times, but maybe that was a survival test. 
Passed.  Slightly traumatized, but still a pass.
But in all seriousness they gave everything and I couldn't ask for greater parents...well, I could, but I'd rather ask for random shirtless pop-ups of Channing Tatum on Instagram.
Its the small things...

Well, back to the grind.
An afternoon of clients, dinner with a friend, and then up by 4 to do it all over again.  Wooo!  Life is a beautiful mess...hang on tight and pack a cup...

Pregnant Linebacker Needs Vitamin D

Well, in big news from Durham, the sun decided to make an appearance today.  I was starting to question its existence,...and question the sanity of those who opt to live in places like Seattle. 
I couldn't do it.
Despite the fact that I work indoors all day, I need sunshine.  Humanity needs me to have sunshine. Fact.
3 days of dreary weather was plenty, and honestly it was starting to send me to unhealthy places. Perhaps  slightly dramatic, but I was literally one down pour from a Jewel playlist and some closet drinking.
Ok  fine,...I would just sit at the table......my closets are full....

What a crazy few days its been.
The gym is still on an unpredictable schedule because people are back and forth from vacation, preparing for school, etc etc...I will certainly be sad to see my college kids head out.  Sad...jealous...whatever.  Nah, 4 years was fun, but definitely enough for me.
Its always interesting to watch athletes head into that world for the first time.  Many are shocked at how much more of a "job" it is, and quite honestly forget why they love it to begin with.  Sad, but true.  Its a different level for sure, and requires a daily commitment to improvement for sake of self-satisfaction in knowing you are giving all you can.  Because honestly, if you're waiting for a pat on the butt or incessant praise, you may never get it.  And THEY are not obligated to give it.  Nor should they be.
You're a select group.
Entitled to nothing but an opportunity, just like everyone else, to take responsibility for your effort and give what you can for where you are.  And yes, I speak to everyone on that one. ;)

Let's see...
In other news, my second grey hair sprouted from the top of my head the other day.  That was truly exciting.  Lie.
I was in the dressing room at Nordstrom when I spotted it.  And actually, the timing was ok to be honest.  I was trapped in a shirt/dress with a horrible boat neckline that made me look like a linebacker.  Combined with an awkward waistline that was nowhere near the waist, I also looked pregnant.
Awesome....exactly the look I was going for: Fertilized and master of a hit & shed.
Anyway, the grey hair was a good distraction from that.  Even though I will say that I am not thrilled with the prospect of dying my hair all the time once it gets out of hand and desperate measures need to be taken to restore this brunette's hue.

Kept two of my nieces yesterday.  It was an intense Parker gal day filled with the Little Mermaid, painting, fro yo, coloring, manicures, and lots of trips to the potty.  They are in full fledged princess mode, and I was asked more than once if I was on an adventure to find my prince charming.  Yes, it was adorable, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't fight the urge to respond with something about a mechanical bull and making it rain.  
I am fully aware of my audience, no worries...
But it all seriousness, we had a wonderful time and excitedly await the arrival of their baby brother....who is literally due any day. 
First grandchild without a vagina.  What on earth will we do?!!
I'll leave you with a few pics from our pink-n-purple kind of day...

Exciting News and Questionable Attire

And here I am.
This week has flown by, but I think my brain is still stuck on Tuesday.  I was completely rested (so I thought) at the beginning of the week and then Wednesday hit like a freight train.  I got up that morning to workout before my first client, so you can imagine the portrait-of-awesome that was struggling to the coffee pot at 3:45.  I may have been assaulted in my sleep. 
I managed to make it back upstairs with 16 ounces of sanity in my hands, only to find that actually getting dressed was another challenge in itself.  Ever have those mornings when you literally forget the proper order to clothe yourself?  Apparently I need a weekly tutorial.
I put on my workout gear and realized something was off,...literally. 
Socks....check.
Shoes....check.
Bikers....check.
Tank top...check.
Sports bra.............
Aaaaaand here we are.
It was literally staring me in the face on the bed.  My apathy was fairly high at this point so I was tempted to just keep rolling.  Let's be honest, I don't spend $60 on a sports bra for the latest support technology.
Ever seen a concrete support beam under a tree house? 
Exactly.
I reasoned with myself that it was the principle of the matter, and I refuse to be lazy...and well, I'm 31, not 7.

Despite my questionable moments regarding attire, I was beyond excited to share with you all some pretty cool news.
The golf article I wrote for our gym's website was published on the Titleist Performance Institute website on Tuesday.  I can't tell you how much this meant to me...as a trainer and as someone who passionately loves sharing my knowledge and experience with as many people as possible who do not have access to our facility.  The folks at TPI are truly a class act and I am grateful for the opportunity to contribute.  Very very cool.  Here's the link:
http://www.mytpi.com/articles/fitness/why_the_glutes_matter

Onto my afternoon.
I am officially reaching that time of day when I would risk 2nd degree burns to take the coffee pot straight to the face.  BUT thankfully I am taking tomorrow and Saturday off.  Crazy, I know....a full 48 hours....you may see me on the news for going through withdrawal...or for making the neighborhood kids do lunges around the cul-de-sac in efforts to satisfy my need to make people sweat and/or cry.  Kidding,...I'm not that mean ;)

DMX Made Me Do It...

I just woke up from my nap.
...Currently caught somewhere between awake and still-tired-and-apathetic-enough-to-not-risk-human-interaction......its such a fine line.
Wednesdays feel so long though.  I get up slightly earlier than normal, (not sure how this is possible), and squeeze in a ridiculously early workout before my first clients.  There was a lot of grunting going on at 4:45am and I blame the pull-ups.  Its in those moments that I sometimes have to envision my own trainer yelling at me or something to crank out the last 2 reps. 
My clients jokingly tell me when they're working out on their own they imagine me standing right there basically running my mouth in whatever means of motivational speech they need at the moment.  Someone once asked me if I picture myself yelling at me in some weird matrix-like workout experience.  Ha, no.  Actually, to be honest, my imaginary trainer sounds more like DMX.  Well, its a toss up between DMX and Vin Diesel.  Either one would scare the shit out of me enough to finish pull-ups and risk passing out or a hernia.
All that to say, I made it through this morning's workout and am currently tired and well aware that hump day's "hump" is slightly bigger than normal today...

Its been a busy week, with an exciting announcement to come soon!  No, I'm not pregnant....why is this always the first assumption? 
Eggs are still marinating.
But seriously, I am thrilled to share this with you all...as it is one of those moments in your career when you sit back, sigh, and think hell yeah its worth it... So I hope to post about that in the next day or two.  And to be completely honest, I have those moments daily with my clients, but this one is a little different...

In other non-fitness news, I am planning to move soon and I started cleaning out my closet.  Dear.  Lord.
I could clothe a small country....in mainly spandex, but whatever.  It was absurd and there is much more to be cleaned out.  The only thing I regret ever getting rid of are my leather pants. Great memories in those things, but pretty sure they needed to leave the premisses.....mainly because at this point in my life I can't take myself seriously in anything I rocked in a frat house while fist-pumping to Journey.

Well, the afternoon awaits and I've got 20 minutes to down another cup of coffee....story of my life.

Home of the brave...and slightly illiterate...

I've been reading for the past 5 hours...time for a little break.  And no I don't read fast,...I blame the gene pool.  Didn't exactly come from a long line of speed readers.
Dad's improving.
Way to go Pops,...star for the day.

This weekend was such a stark contrast from last week's birthday mayhem.  When I wasn't at work, I was working.  I think I bled on the keyboard.  Kidding,...unless I was typing with my toes.  Then, you never know.
Other than that I was reading, writing, and celebrating my American freedom by going to bed at 9pm and cursing the fireworks going off. 
At a baseball game they sound amazing.
In bed, they sound like gun shots and I'm one cherry bomb from hitting the floor and leaving Oscar to fend for himself.  My goal on the 4th was to not leave my house.  Check.  Oh and take a couple of naps.  Check check.
I feel so productive.  But my God I was still catching up on sleep from last weekend.  My mind says 25 but my body says 55 with a good chance of premature hot flashes.
Unbelievable.

Saturday was much the same with the exception of the Hallmark channel.  I admit it, I was glued...I have no shame.  I should, and yet I don't.
Why?  Because God smiled on me yesterday.  They were showing a Christmas movie that just happened to have a beautiful male specimen as the lead role.  Tinsel and a man,...2 things Julie Andrews forgot to mention on her list of favorite things.  Figure it out Jules. 
Nonetheless, I couldn't even tell you the plot, but whatever it was I wanted to cry at the end.  Not because it was an award winning, emotionally moving performance, but because I watched a solid hour of it and he never took his shirt off.  I want that hour back.
Hallmark channel, you little tease...

Well, I practically wrote my next article on the treadmill this morning.  Yeah, I don't know...after 3 cups of coffee and a solid 8 hours of sleep my mind was operating on a new level.  The next one is for the ladies...sorry guys, but I encourage you to read as well...mainly to further understand the one you label "crazy" half the time.  Be careful...she holds more influence than you think... ;)

Its about that time...Monday awaits and for the sake of everyone tomorrow my butt needs to get in bed...
Make it a great one.

31 Candles and a Breast Pump

The week following vacation is always an interesting one.
...Its finding a balance between too extreme emotions: being eager to resume a routine and establish some order back to your life, and then saying to hell with putting on pants and having responsibilities. 
My week was a little nuts to say the least, but manageable and with the anticipation of birthday weekend, I was able to survive life back in the gym.
I was beyond excited to get back into lifting after a week off and bloody feet from running.  Toenails have not grown back yet, which I'm truly ok with.  Two less that I have to paint.  I know, the extra effort is exhausting to think about....BUT, they do feel so much better.  Look horrible, but feel better.

And yes, I splurged a little on vacation.  Pita chips, beer, wine, reeses pieces....yes it was good, but honestly I was ready to take a plain chicken breast and some broccoli to the face when I got back.  Between my mangled feet and the diabetes I was working on, my body was hating me just a little....as it should.

Sooooo, yes it was my birthday this weekend...thank you all who sent emails/texts, I truly appreciate the thoughts and wishes.  I could not have asked for a better 31st birthday.  I spent it with my closest friends laughing, dancing, and pretty much squeezing everything out of a Saturday night that we possibly could.  I am still recovering from lack of sleep, but it was worth it....from Blair's breast pump to our ridiculous moves on the dance floor, it was never a dull moment.  And a shout out to the recent graduates who thought it was my 25th birthday and not my 31st...apparently I'm on my way to cougar status.
Side note: what hotel requires a 10am checkout anymore?  Ah, not a great birthday present Hilton, figure it out...

In all serious though, I do like to reflect each year about what I've learned through this beautiful mess we call life.  In the good, bad, ugly, and down right unfathomable, there is wisdom and potential growth if we choose to simply look at it as opportunity.  No, I'm not where I thought I'd be at 31 had you asked me 10 years ago, but I excitedly anticipate things to come and welcome the challenges and changes ahead.
With all that said, here are a few reflections from my 30th year.....

* Falling down is inevitable.  Staying down is a choice.

* You'll stop giving up when you consciously eliminate the option to do so.

* True colors are often purposefully concealed and carelessly unveiled.

* You'll find out what you're truly made of amidst the struggle.....and on a mechanical bull at 1am.

* Your feet will always follow your focus.

* Ultimately, the question is whether you are going to wholeheartedly say YES to your adventure...

* At the end of the day your greatest opponent is self-doubt.

* Be grateful for the here and now.  Its purpose we may never truly know, but its potential to change us for the better is limitless.

* Surrender can be a great thing...

* If you must be one thing, be honest...to yourself...and others. 


Here's to 31...the laughter and tears that got me here, and the journey that awaits.  It will be a year of great things to come....

Beach Week 2014

Last night of my vacation.
I am basically glued to the recliner surrounded by emails, books, and an ungodly amount of laundry.  I intended to fold it by now, and if its the thought that counts consider it done.
Two sets of sheets to fold from our beach vacation and you might as well tell me it comes with a complimentary punch in the throat.  Neatly folded sheets is not my forte.  Pillow cases I can handle.  But give me 80 sq ft of Egyptian cotton and I pretty much blackout.  Add the fitted sheet and it becomes a full blown nightmare that ends with me yelling obscenities and vowing to sleep on the couch indefinitely.
I am well aware of my limits...

Vacation was amazing.
7 days with the entire Parker crew,...the beach will never be the same.
We basically got up, drank as much coffee as possible, headed to the beach, stayed there all day, then came in for dinner and more family bonding.....repeat.  I did manage to sleep past 6am each day, which was awesome.  Payton and Haven stayed in my room, so every now and then I'd find myself in fetal position on the side of the bed with a 3 year old foot in my back.  I've never seen a 30lb human sprawl like that and dominate a queen sized bed...

I could honestly devote an entire post to each day of vacation.  The comments, laughs, and random I-can't-believe-I'm-related-to-them moments were priceless.  Here's a quick rundown of a few highlights...

* Sparkles blindly walks into a cement pole while shopping.  The only regret I have is that I didn't have my phone out to capture the moment.  I couldn't comfort her that we were laughing with her and not at her.  We were definitely laughing at her.

* Payton debuts her new single "Naughty [Aunt] Mena"....apparently my new theme song.  Out of all the adjectives, this one is...well...ironic.

* My blood-blister becomes a conversation starter with stranger.  Note to self - wear a damn band-aide.

* Related: 2 toenails fall off.

* Also related: Payton writes song #2 about my toenails falling off, and manages to reference her father throwing seashells at my face on our last beach trip.  Potential American Idol candidate.

* Dad's first attempt at speed scrabble resulted in the words "A" and "I".....nothing more to comment on that.  Pretty self-explanatory.

* Sparkles convinces me to tie "fairy hair" into her scalp.  I judge my myself....and her.

* Urban Dictionary is used more times than not during speed scrabble....generally resulting in me teaching my parents information they should never know or use in public. 


There are many more, I assure you.  And let me clarify my medical issues for a second...
I did not lift weights at all while at the beach....thus, I resorted to cardio.  I ran 5-6 miles Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday....and darn if hump day didn't kick me in the rear.  I returned that day feeling something on the back of my heel:...

Ummm yeah, slight blood blister.
About an hour later, my toenail comes off....and Thursday, another.  I will not show pictures of that because honestly it is gross.  Its happened before, and this is why I just like to lift heavy things and not run until body parts are dismantling.  When those toes hit the salt water I thought I was going to smack my momma.  It was horrible...
They are still hurting, and hopes of a pedicure anytime soon are pretty much shot down.  That, and no romantic foot massages....I will wear socks on every date....for the sake of all parties involved.

I will leave you with a few pics from the Parker vacation 2014...

Unsanitary Naps

It would take approximately zero effort for me to fall asleep right now.  Wednesdays are long and I'm almost to the point of eliminating exercises I have to demonstrate on a mat.  I get down there and its a horrible tease.  Uhhh...just 2 minutes....
I already took one 15 minute snooze.  On the floor.  Music blaring.  I was out cold and could have stayed there for hours.
....Now I look back at all the naps I skipped in kindergarten and want to smack my former self with that ridiculous red and blue mat.  No telling what was growing on that thing.  Not that I care,....I slept on a gym floor.

 Its been one heck of a week thus far since I am slightly short staffed for a few days.  Perhaps its good timing because my vacation is coming up this Saturday.  Thank God. 
I will  be roughing it....and by "roughing it" I mean on a float, at the beach, unintentionally gathering sand in my swimsuit.
The entire Parker crew in one house....heck yes.
Mom is probably busy packing puzzles and some sort of craft to do while she's there.  It never fails that on every family trip she comes back with a souvenir she made...not sure her logic there, but it keeps her happy and entertained.  Meanwhile, dad is constantly reminding me to bring sheets and towels like I was raised in a barn and also suffer from premature memory loss.
He's called me 3 times to tell me this.
At this point I may leave them behind just to witness the mini-meltdown that will occur when I arrive.
But everyone is getting pumped about the trip, and to spend the week with all my nieces pretty much makes my day.  Yes, I will spoil them.  As I should.

As far as working out goes, I may hit the gym once or twice while I'm there, but right now I'm just planning to do some cardio each day.  My body is pretty damn tired right now.  Taking a week off of lifting may be good...physically,...and mentally.  My brain just needs a break from life right now, so the timing of this is perfect.  Its been about 2 years since I've taken a full week off, so needless to say I hope the sand in the crotch of my swimsuit will be my biggest issue in the next 10 days.  I can handle that.

Ok, back to the grind....the afternoon awaits, and my anticipation for 4pm coffee is beyond normal levels.  I think my mouth just started watering.  Pretty sad....

Will Work For Sleep.

I just woke up from my nap.
The 7 minutes post-ZZZ's are pretty much a drunken haze of consciousness in which my general apathy peaks...
Its quite the sight I assure you.  But I think last week was finally catching up to me, and life was paying me back for the night I got roughly one hour of sleep and rolled into a 13 hour day.  Yeah, that was pretty.  So by Sunday I reached new levels of tired,...to the point that I couldn't even muster up the energy to put on a swimsuit and sleep by the pool...no, I opted for a hoodie, argyle socks, and fetal position with my cat.
I judge myself appropriately for this.
But in my defense it was an emotionally draining week as well.  I had a handful of clients moving away, so its never easy to say goodbye to people who are not only clients, but truly friends as well.  As I stood there with one young woman replaying the last several weeks and her growth along the way, I teared up like a baby.  Some people just grab you.
They walk into your life and you're never the same and forever grateful.
...so there I was praying the "waterproof" label on my mascara wasn't a load of crap.
I cried.  Again.

So here I am.
New week, and trying to catch up on sleep, sanity, and this ungodly pain in my traps.
Yesterday, I had to do the trainer/client challenge....Basically, each month there will  be an exercise that the trainers complete and clients choose to try and beat us on reps, time, or whatever the goal is.  This month was the following:
Single arm dumbbell snatch for 1 minute (women 25% of bodyweight, men 30%), with 1 minute rest between arms.
Sounds simple enough.
Yeah,...I cursed a lot in that 3 minutes.
I had to set the bar for the ladies, and it needed to be filmed and timed while I had witnesses, thus I had to do it in the few minutes I had between clients.  Brian was timing, other clients were counting/watching,...talk about pressure on a Monday.
I get 30 seconds into my right arm and thought holy shit I am going to drop this on my face and Brian will naturally post it on Youtube.  No, I didn't drop it on my face, but the difference in 30 seconds and 1 minute was beyond words.  Guys, I may never joke about that time gap again,...I get it...
My grip was fading and my quads felt like jello.  Some of the reps were a blur, and all I remember after the first arm was dropping the weight, walking in circles and saying shit more times than I could count.
I figured if I was going to waste oxygen on words, it was going to be 4 letter ones.  Story of my life.
The minute rest was a joke.
The left arm struggled, I got through,...and no I don't want to have to do that again anytime soon.  My heartrate was up around 190, and my traps today are so sore I can hardly touch them.  Despite my love of lifting and the gym, I don't want to actually feel my traps throb when I go to lift my coffee mug.  That's when happiness dies for me.

Results:
Weight: 30lb dumbbell
Right arm: 36 reps
Left arm: 33 reps
Total score: 69

I have several new clients this week, which is always exciting.  Fresh meat :).
Well, I am going to finish my cups 6 and 7 of coffee and get this train rolling for my afternoon crowd...
Game time.

Some UV, Market Wine, and A Shoe Horn

Monday.
Sleeping in until 7 was absolutely glorious.  Hey, anything after 4am is a treat, and would be even better still if Oscar knew when it was a holiday and wasn't harassing me by 5 for some food.
No, I don't get up. 
Perhaps me being a horrible owner, but I take my chances that because his brain is the size of a peanut, he'll probably release his temporary resentment and go back to sleep for awhile.  Generally I'm right.
Love it when that happens.

Its been a pretty low key weekend around here.  Catching up on some work, cleaned the house until I was borderline high on Lysol, and managed to throw in some pool time.  I can't complain.
It was hot out there today though.  Some women lay out there all day and hardly start to glisten....Meanwhile, I'm over there practically drowning in my sweat and fighting new levels of dehydration.  It worries me only because if I happen to pass out, I don't exactly want to show up on a gurney in a string bikini.  That would be my luck.
Even better if its my one with sequins. 
...nothing like being mistaken for a sweaty stripper in the ER.
Sorry dad.

Went to the Farmers Market Saturday with fellow trainer, Olivia.  It was my first time this season, and I forgot how quickly I spend money at that place.  The produce is unbelievable, love the flowers, and then by the time I make it around to the wine and random nut butters I'm making all kinds of irrational decisions. 
What do you mean I can't sample the wine at 8am?  Ridiculous.  Like communion....by myself....for the sake of myself...
Samples.  For the love of God, samples.
I think I spent about $60....the amount of lettuce in my fridge right now is out of control.  Green hoarder.

Back to the normal craziness tomorrow.  Full day ahead since we were closed today, and pretty much the same until Friday, when I cap my week off with my annual physical.  Always a pleasant experience at 9am when you get grilled about everything from sleep habits to drug use and sexual activity.
I don't care who you are, that's always an awkward moment.
The smart aleck side of me wants to ask her to start by defining active, and then clarify that the gyno visit itself does/doesn't count.  Because quite frankly anything resembling a shoe horn should not be involved.
I read 50 Shades.  I did not finish.
So after an hour or so I generally resign myself to staring at the ceiling and apathetically allowing any med students to come in and experience the excitement with me.
They smile and say thank you.
...I'm sitting there in an oversized napkin and socks,...the smile is useless, but appreciated.  Bless them.

So there's my week at a glance.  Game time folks.

Thank You Justin...

I woke up at least 5 times last night.  Twice to use the bathroom (bladder of a 5 year old), twice because I was popping my knuckles in my sleep (who does this?!), and at least once because Oscar doesn't understand the your-side/my-side bed concept.  If I die in my sleep it will be because I was smothered by a 15 pound cat.
Not so much a cat, as more of a an affectionate leech with hair.

I thought for sure I'd be ready to roll today despite Sunday being less than ideal...
I woke up with a sore throat and by 4pm I'd already had 2 naps, plenty of meds, and way too much lemon water.
This is supposed to help right?  I could totally be making this up and may have been better off taking whiskey to the face.  That will cure anything.....momentarily.
All that to say that I spent "Sunday Funday" in the recliner watching Friends With Benefits and honestly wondering how in the world JT can sing, dance, act, and be hot all at once.  I am often skeptical that God gives with both hands (in the name of fairness), but apparently He got carried away with this one.
I can only hope he has a huge flaw elsewhere for the sake of humanity in general.
I've clearly spent too much time thinking about this.  I know.  But hopefully he'll procreate soon...again, for the sake of humanity.
So after my healthy dose of Justin, I was in bed by 8.  Slightly sad, and yet I was thrilled to climb in bed when it was still light outside.
Its the little things...

It was a pretty standard Monday in the gym,...everyone ready for summer...minus the humidity that will make you want to curse your momma and start migrating north.  Between June and September I'm usually 1 sweat away from ripping off clothing and pleading insanity.
So. Hot.
Thankfully an "indecent exposure" charge is not convenient for my schedule.  Gotta keep it in check.

Got some pretty fun stuff up ahead.  New recipe post on the way and June article in the works.  And as always, I welcome questions/emails about topics of interest on anything health/fitness related. 

Short and sweet tonight.  I can hardly keep my eyes open and anticipate a busy Tuesday.  Its Monday's hangover.  Night folks...

To My Dukies...

I'm alive.
Still moving,...just a little slower...

The last week was crazy busy, and I'm pretty sure I had a stretch there of 4 days when my total sleep time was in the teens.  I was one restless night from an assault charge....on someone else or myself.
By Sunday Oscar and I were both worthless and managed to sleep all afternoon, do half a load of laundry, and check off zero items from the to-do list.
For someone addicted to their own productivity, that is torturous and sends the anxiety into overdrive.  But honestly, I couldn't fight it.  I went and surprised Sparkles for Mother's Day,...and that combined with little sleep and stress about having little sleep was enough to put me in a coma.
Oscar didn't mind.

Apparently my thigh converts to a pillow.
...perhaps the sluttiest thing I've said all day.

 The weekend was exhausting, but a lot of fun....out with friends, Haven's 3rd birthday party, Duke graduation, friends' 30th, and lots of celebrating in between.
It sounds like I'm popular.
Its a lie.
Dad is probably still sneaking checks somewhere.  Its fine.  I get it. 
Thanks Dad...because I am broke.

But seriously, my body was pooped by the end of all this.  And there was that moment walking to my car at 1:30 Sunday morning in heels when I debated whether or not to rip them off in the parking lot and risk hepatitis.  My apathy was peaking.
I caved.
They came off faster than a stripper's....well....anything.
I should probably update my shots.

It was graduation weekend or most of Durham.  My Dukies were celebrating the end of justifiable late nights and endless studying.  (The two not always correlated).
I've had the privilege of working with a handful of graduate students this year who have truly kept me entertained to no end.  They think I've taught them a great deal, but as any "teacher" would say, I've learned just as much.
On a serious note, I am grateful. 
Grateful for their perspective on life and inspiring drive to move forward and create themselves.  They are sharp and genuinely open to opportunity.  Opportunity presented to them, and opportunity constructed from intentional steps towards a goal.  To say they are focused on the road ahead is an understatement.
I admire that.
I envy the energy they find day in and day out to continue a path that is both difficult and uncertain.
That takes incredible courage.  I applaud them.
But perhaps the greatest thing I've learned is that life in its purest is enjoyed and experienced in the moments we allow ourselves to simply BE. 
...To relinquish any temptation to question the future or recall the past.  Instead, liberate yourself into the moment that IS...and stay there...live...enjoy.

This challenges me on many levels, and for that I am thankful.  I will miss you all more than you know...

South Florida Invasion...

This is my current state in life:...I do not always remember a phone or credit card number, but I basically have the codes for all my produce memorized. 
Sad.
And more sad that its a proud moment for yours truly when I skim 20 seconds off my checkout time because the 'ol memory bank is cranking out digits like a slot machine.  Its the little things in life...

What a weekend.
Back from West Palm Beach in one piece and easing myself into the normal routine.  It was an amazing vacation with my dear friend Celia, that started off bright and early for a 8am flight Friday morning...
This was taken approximately 20 minutes before I dosed off....my napping ability has become more of an issue than a gift...

The vacation was absolutely needed and just a couple hours after touching down, we were on the beach...where I slept some more.  Celia finishes entire books out there, and I simply manage to hit a coma state and hope I don't drool on myself.
She is destined for great things.
I am destined to have chronic adrenal fatigue by 35.

I needed a tan badly.  I know I know,...but truly I look like I have polio without some color.  I don't have pretty fair skin, and honestly envy the women who do.
Now I just have tan lines.
Its like a magic trick...I can remove my swimsuit and it still looks like I have one on.  Unbelievable.

I did manage to sleep in a few days....7am was a beautiful thing.  Celia's dad and I had coffee, read the paper, and covered everything from European travel to correcting his golf swing all before 7:45.  People often apologize for asking work-related questions when I'm technically not at work, but I honestly love it.  Perhaps a little too much.
2 cups of coffee in, and there I was demonstrating a posture exercise on the floor in the kitchen.
I really shouldn't be able to take myself seriously in pajama pants and argyle socks, but evidently it doesn't stop me.
The only thing that would have made it better is if Celia walked in during the mobility test as the turkey bacon is cooking in the background...
Never a dull moment.

Between the amazing dinners and down time, we did manage to get in some exercise.  She signed us up for a Flywheel spin class the first morning.  Let me start this story by saying that my idea of fun is not sitting on a seat that is basically designed to hate my crotch.
But I am all for new experiences, so onward we roll.
I remember getting on my bike, locking my feet in, and thinking this just might end really bad.
Slightly dramatic, I know.
But, despite working out everyday, I rarely get on the bike...much less for 45 minute intervals.  But before I knew it the lights were off and the music was blaring.
I wanted to dance.
How could I possibly do a proper Wobble on a bike?  I was so confused...lights off, music going...are we going to bike, make out, bike and then make out...what is going on?
Long story short, I survived.  I was literally dripping on the bike by the end and couldn't feel my quads.
I thought I was going to throw up once, not going to lie.
Proud to say Cel and I finished as the top 2 females in the class...
I smelled great in this picture.

Yesterday we went for a morning run, and I was honestly amazed my legs were not completely dead from spinning.
We went roughly 4-5 miles, with a beautiful view and only a few minor aches and pains....whoever said 30 is the new 20 was intoxicated.  Its not.  Things hurt.

There were many highlights from the trip, but mainly getting away with a great friend, laughing until it hurt, and enjoying some down time.
Tomorrow will be back to the grind as usual....if all goes as planned, I may reach a new level of crazy by 10am and be headed back to Florida.
I'll leave you with a few more pics from our invasion of WPB...

Glow Sticks and Pokemon

Where did this week/weekend go?
Nearly facing May.  Crazy.
Before we know it we'll be all pumped in our mesh tank tops setting off fireworks like true Americans do in ungodly temperatures for the sake of summer.

After the complete hectic chaos which was this weekend, I'm amazed I was actually able to sit down and spend 3 hours on a golf article.  (Focus is always questionable on a Sunday afternoon).  However, yours truly was able to get in a nap, so cognitive function was not a total disaster.
After my panic attack spells and basically inability to think clearly for more than a 2 minute span, I was truly thankful to crank out that article.  I'll post a link tomorrow.
Its about golfers' butts.
Seriously.

What a weekend.
One minute I'm catching up on my reading, and the next I'm rocking a glow stick fist pumping myself into a shoulder injury on the dance floor.
Its fine,...I judge myself.  I can hardly take myself seriously mid-fist pump.  Add in a glow stick and I might as well throw in a scrunchie and completely relive the 1994 dream.
You would think after a late night and hip-hop revival that occurred in my lower extremities, I'd automatically sleep in.
uhh...and 6am here I am....
Unbelievable.
I blame a select few,...you know who you are,...and yes it was great ;)

In other alarming news, a family group text went flying around this morning with a picture of Miss Bella.  Dad was included, which is ironic because the man stopped checking email in 2006 and just retired his flip-phone a week ago.  He's never sent a text a day in his life.
Nonetheless, he was included.
I throw in my response text and a few seconds later my phone vibrates and "Dad" pops on the screen.
What. The. Hell.
Not only had the man successfully navigated a touch screen, he included an emoji.
Who is this guy and where is my dad?
No doubt he texted that entire response with his pointer finger, but whatever.  If it was anything like I saw last week as he was showing me pictures, the screen will have a dent by June.
He literally pokes it.  Not a touch, not a tap.  He pokes it like a dead animal.
If anything, its comical to watch.
All that to say, dad officially texts now, and I'm not sure the world is ready.  If he takes notes from mom it will be the oddest combo of hieroglyphics and urban slang you've ever seen.
The second he uses YOLO I'm flushing my phone.

Last but certainly not least, Happy Easter everyone.
It was a quiet holiday for me with church, workout, and a few errands...AND the official reentry of gum back into my life.  Thank. God.
After 40 days, I was ready to give myself arthritis of the jaw with some bubblemint deliciousness.  By 3pm I was fairly close to my goal.
Its the little things... :)

I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday!,
...I am off to call Sparkles and see what her and Pokemon are up to...

Meatball Hump Day

 These are definitely a regular go-to for yours truly.  Quick, easy, and loaded with protein.  I personally like to make them as lean as possible because I enjoy other fats elsewhere in my diet (avocado, nuts, etc), so I go with the leanest ground turkey I can buy.  If you truly want to use ground beef and make it healthier, simply buy the 96% lean and continue the recipe accordingly.


1 pound lean ground turkey (96% or 99% lean are optimal)
2 egg whites
heaping 1/2 cup regular oatmeal (not the old fashion rolled oats)
2 tsp Italian seasoning
1/2 tsp oregano
1/2 tsp garlic/parsley mix
1/2 tsp sea salt

1. Line a 9 x 13 pan with aluminum foil and preheat oven to 350*
2. Mix all ingredients together by hand until well blended.
3. Form 1 1/2 inch meat balls and place in pan about 2" apart.  Makes 12 servings.
4. Cover with foil and bake for approximately 20-25 minutes (*every oven is a little different)

Each meatball is approximately 55 calories, 8g protein, 1g fat, 3g carbohydrates 

Whole Foods' 365 brand has a great line of pasta sauces with all natural ingredients and no added sugar or preservatives.  There are certainly a lot of options, but a good rule of thumb is make sure you can picture every ingredient in its natural state (eliminates chemicals etc..), and opt for one with no or very little sugar
(< 5g) per serving.

Top with a sprinkle of Parmesan cheese and add a side of steamed veggies and dinner is served.  Enjoy.