Cracked Out...

Snow days simply are not the same at 30 with a job.  Its just a domino effect of work delays, schedule changes, profit hits, and the list could go on.... Versus when you're 12 years old and missing science class and an inevitable locker malfunction seemed like a gift from God.
Waking up to a snow/ice infested road and school cancellations meant my phone was blowing up at 5:30.  By 7am I realized my life would take a downhill turn if my thumbs gave out at any moment...  (Also fleeting thought while holding a cup, bat, or anything with a handle).
I stayed in bed until 7, which was unheard of, and had a caffeine headache by the time I rolled over and manged to get my rearend out of bed.
I was s-t-r-u-g-g-l-i-n-g.  6 cups later I was semi-sane.  Emphasis on the semi-...

Speaking of hands...
I've had numerous people make product suggestions to me about my cracking hands....yes, it is a huge problem, and they hurt like no other from about mid-December until March.  Honestly, it looks like a badger attacked my poor phalanges.  Here's the latest...ugh...

I made it to the gym by mid-day, but with schools out and what not, people cancelled and it ended up being a fairly light day.  All this aggression and so few people to take it out on.  Ok kidding,...sort of.
I had an interesting question thrown at me today...
He asked if I feel mad or frustrated with clients who don't see results,...in the context of taking the responsibility of it solely upon myself.
8 years ago I may have thought a little differently, but today I have to say that in general, no I don't.  (And this goes for any trainer worth a damn)...each party pulls their weight,...no pun intended.  Its a journey side by side, not one dragging another.  I do my part, you do yours. 
The problem is that we are so used to a lifestyle of quick solutions and blaming others for things that are essentially our responsibility.  This inevitably creates a host of problems when it comes to our health and overarching perspective of ourselves.  Until we recognize our ability to change ourselves, we'll remain dependent on others to do so...which is both ironic and sad because...well...they can't.
Not sure if my response surprised my client, but it was honest.
My job is not to GIVE a quick fix, but to empower and cultivate the tools necessary to continue an ever-improving-journey that is marked by personal responsibility, self motivation, and dedication to a greater goal. 
I do my job.
You do yours.

Well, on that note, I am headed upstairs to begin my nightly routine of neosporin, band-aids, lotion, and gloves or these ridiculous hands...

Booty-calls and Spandex Memories...

I just recorded the Bachelor and Real Housewives of Atlanta.
This is what my life has come to and somehow I feel the need to confess.
Combined with no afternoon coffee today, its a low point lets be honest...

Well, my weekend began with a girls night on Friday,...Aunt Mena, P-Diddle and her sidekick Peanut.

It was a busy night between breakfast-for-dinner, Jake and The Neverland Pirates, undressing and redressing Rapunzel, ice cream cones, and me trying to read The Little Mermaid in such a way that masked any dyslexia or learning disabilities.
It was tough.  I don't come from a gene pool of speed readers...Sound. It. Out.  I hated that advice...I am sounding it out, and it sounds like a nightmare. 
A nightmare on paper.  Scrape these calluses off my hands and pass the braille...

We had a blast as always and of course it doesn't end when you tuck them in bed.
Nope, I had a booty-call a few minutes later.  And by booty-call I mean a 4 year old yelling "Menaaaa!!!  Come wipe my bottom!!!"....I think I broke my 40 time running up those stairs to handle the post ice cream deuce situation.
I was 3 more steps from an asthma attack, but all bodily fluids taken care of.  Friday complete.

* * *

On a more serious note, it was an honor to attend the retirement party for my high school volleyball coach this afternoon.  It was only after I hung up the ankle tape, knee pads, and spandex shorts (Siiiike), that I truly realized her impact as a coach.

Its been 13 years and I can still hear her yelling at me for being a smartass to the ref.  Shocking, I know.  I just wanted to make sure he knew he was, well, wrong, and that unfortunately a 17 year old had to be the bearer of bad news of his momentary poor judgement.
It never went over too well....especially with this one ref who threw out yellow cards like bills at strippers.  Tool bag.
But seriously, it was great to see her and a host of other coaches and teachers I hadn't seen in years.  When I think about coach Clements and how she influenced my life as an athlete and now trainer, two things really come to mind: her consistency and belief in her players.
I'll never forget when she called me up to varsity as a freshman, and I was excited, nervous, scared, and everything in between, but under all that confidently knew she believed in what I brought to the game.  That is a powerful message for a 14 year old girl, and I am genuinely grateful.
And God bless her consistency.  There are some coaches you know operate differently if they're in a good mood, bad mood, tired, etc....yeah, that didn't really matter with her.  Sprints at 5:30am for pre-season 2 day practices were void of any affection, good or bad.  They were happening.  She believed in the fundamentals and doing what was necessary to get better.  I have tremendous respect for that and see it playing out in my own career.

So when I decided to stand up and speak at the party I considered the MANY stories I could tell that were funny or perhaps embarrassing,...but it soon dawned on me that 99% of those same stories involved me doing something inappropriate or ridiculous.  Believe me, several coaches/teachers quickly reminded me of this as I circulated the room.  Damn their memory.
So despite not going into detail about some of those moments, it was wonderful simply to be able to share her influence and impact years later.
Thank you Coach. :)

Snowflakes and Regurgitated Cornflakes

Its snowing.
Yes, its pretty and I enjoy watching it fall, but I have a slightly different perspective on it than I did in school.  Crap simply doesn't get done when it snows around here.  No we don't truly know how to function in anything over 2 inches, and give us 6 and we'll pretty much show you how to shut a place down.
Its sad, but tis life in central NC.
And honestly, I have no desire to live anywhere that has brutal winters and forces me to put on enough layers to prevent any possibility of stripping down to use the bathroom in less than 30 seconds.  That sounds like a nightmare.  And a mess.

Speaking of mess...
This morning was insanely busy, and its always interesting to watch the dynamic of people in the gym.  At one point it was all men and I was literally swimming in testosterone. 
Room full of guys,...no talking.
2 hours later and it was all women, and if there is ever a moment of silence I'm checking pulses.  Otherwise, its me separating conversations like a hall monitor.  Everyone hated that kid.  I am that kid at least several times a day,....just in more spandex and somewhat more cynical than I was at age 7.
Shocking, I know.
Needless to say, everyone got in their workout, caught up with each other, and hopefully solved the world's problems between squat sets.  By the afternoon I was literally counting the minutes until my coffee was ready.  24 ounces of liquid sanity.
It was all fun and games until I had to test my custodian skills with the mop.
Yes, late afternoon greeted me with 5sq ft of someone else's vomit.  (I say that like mine would have been better,...lets be clear, it wouldn't have).  It was like in slow motion, and I'm not sure which is worse....watching it fall, hearing it hit the floor, or smelling it throughout the entire process...
Tough call, but generally the smell edges out on top.

Its been quite the day for stomach issues.
I personally thought I was going to die for about 30 minutes into my workout.  (Somewhat dramatic).  My stomach was killing me, and I know it was from pieces of celery in my food a few hours before.
I don't do celery.
Its a stalk.
A stalk that might as well be a small dose of hatred on my digestive system.  I literally could not stand up straight and it hurt to even touch my stomach.  It felt very similar to the time I went to the hospital in college because the on-campus doc thought I had appendicitis.
It wasn't.
But it took a $1000+ dollar visit, CAT scan, physical, and pap-smear to figure that out.  6 hours later I was released with a diagnosis of "trapped gas."  At least give it a cooler name.  Now I have to go back to my suite and explain my hypochondriac tendencies as related-but-not-limited-to my bowels.  Can't wait.  At 3am I was convinced it was a tumor...a possible consequence for unfortunate decisions that culminated over the last 19 years of my life.  This was my thought process at the time....(logic is all out the window when you feel like your belly button might explode and hope that when it does it completely knocks you out).
What an experience.
..."This too shall pass..." ....thankfully it applies to everything.
Well, I survived my workout and felt like a new woman by the time I hit the coffee pot...again...

On a more serious and positive note, I am thrilled about a piece I am putting together for parents...
I'll delve into the whole body-image madness that seems to consume our young people, girls in particular.  Its a topic I am truly passionate about because too often I see and mentor young females who are sadly lost amidst worthless expectations and ideals that merely chain them behind walls of insecurity and self-doubt.
Heartbreaking.
I'll have it out as soon as possible....Have a great night folks...

Waiting For The 3rd Musketeer...

I feel as though I have literally filled every minute today with something.  Meal prep, emails, church, training, emails, another meeting, more emails, trying to stay sane in Whole Foods,...the list is ridiculous and truly all I want to do for an hour is watch mindless tv and let my brain chill out for more than a 20 second daydream.
I'm easily pleased.
But yes, its been a busy weekend....
Kelly and I hosted a baby shower for Jan, which was fun, but I wish I had a dollar for every inappropriate reference to the actual conception of that child during the event.  Generally we do not cross your line of decency,.....we sprint through it like a convict.  My idea of playing pin-the-nipple-pads-on-the-boobies got shot down, which was disappointing.  Apparently, we can pin a tail on a donkey but not be practical and sympathetic to the breastfeeding process in the form of a game.
That's crap.
However, it was a lot of fun and to say I am excited to welcome the arrival of niece #3 is an understatement. 
Start buying stock in Tampax asap.
A few pics...

 The Procreaters...

The gals...

Payton discovering the fun of Aunt Mena's shoes...

Trouble.....and excitedly waiting to welcome Miss Bella into the mix...

It was a great week with clients and just truly seeing people settle into new habits.  Yes, I still deal with my handful of folks that would rather risk a verbal assault from me than do 4 more lunges, and I'm ok with that...as long as they finish the lunges. ;)
It is funny to me how people often feel the need to tell me when they don't like an exercise.  Not sure if they think I'll put a star by it in my notes to never do again or what.  99% of the time we don't like what we haven't mastered.  Period.
(...Explains my relationship with calculus, chess, and mechanical bulls). 
But seriously, I hear this all the time.  So I go back to expectations....expect it to be tough, expect not to like every aspect of getting in shape, expect to feel more motivated some days than others....
That. Is. Normal.
Amazing that we often need reminders we are not Superman, Wonder Woman, or any other famous fib in spandex.  Nope, just a regular human being in enough dry-fit and invisible solid to prevent all reoccurring bodily fluids...
Embrace it.  Its fine.

Well, I need to get my butt in bed and prepare for another crazy week.  How I am this calm right now is beyond me...

Feline Mullet and Bathroom Moves

I woke up exactly 8 minutes before my alarm.
It was one of those moments when you mistakenly think its the middle of the night,...sigh,...roll over and arrogantly glance at the clock certain its 1am,...see the actual time,...and then lay there mentally cursing up a storm for the next 7 minutes and 52 seconds.
I look over at Oscar, secretly hating him and his eat-sleep-crap lifestyle I fund while he sheds all over my bed...
That cat has the hair of a 1992 Billy Ray, and now I'm the one suffering.  Unbelievable.

Well, we are 2 weeks into the new year, and I am always eager to hear how everyone's resolutions are going.  Yes, I watch this unfold up close and personal with a majority of my clients, but also through every social media outlet known to man.  I totally get the accountability aspect of it, but I swear people want a pat on the back for everything.
Partly dramatic, but very true....and it starts young.
I'll never forget the day I was working with a teenager and was going over his sprint routine on the treadmill.  After I explained my expectations, he looked me dead in the eyes and asked "So what do I get if I finish all this?"
Seriously?  Like I carried skittles and well-done stickers in my pocket like a damn circus act.
You get better......ok fine, and a pass from me backhanding you for asking a dumb question and assuming you'd receive anything resembling a "treat" for doing what you should do anyway.
Dear Lord.
I'll go ahead and shift the blame to parents.  Brace yourself,...I blame mine too.
Good grades?  Made your bed?  Took out the trash?....here, by all means, let me pay you for being a decent responsible human being and actually contributing to the house you live in. 
I know, when I say it like that it sounds harsh.  I get it.  Email me, we'll chat...but I still deal with the byproduct on a daily basis and I can tell you its not always pretty because hard work is a value that is harder to instill when there has always been an exterior, tangible motive to do so...


On a music note...
(ha, see what I did there?)...Beyonce's album is amazing.  I get caught in this Mary J Blige feel, then Jay-Z swoops in, and next thing I now I'm whipping out new moves in my bathroom hoping my neighbors see and take notes.  Thank you Beyonce.
Were I ever to dance,...in a cage,..under strobe lights while disappointing my father, I know where to find background music.
In all seriousness, its a phenomenal album and I'll probably wear out every song by next Friday.
Slightly obsessive.

My day ended with a Nike package on my doorstep...
And once again, all was well with the world.

Gum Bender

Gotta love those personal moments when you're like "yeeeaa, this might be an issue..."
Mine just happened at the gas station with $9 worth of gum and a prayer my jaw would survive the ride home.
I'd forgotten to bring some to work and you would have thought the world was coming to an end.  Yes, it was horrible.  And yes, I am fully aware its an addictive stress-relief outlet I have. 
I judge myself.  Its fine.  And there was certainly the moment when I'm at the counter fully aware of the fact that both me and the guy behind me will walk out with brown bags....the difference being that mine was meant for a 7 year old.
Worth every penny.

I am spent.
This week has been busy and ridiculously cold.  9 degrees yesterday morning....unbelievable.  My hands are cracking, bleeding, and now my current bedtime routine has reached new levels.
...Wash the face, brush teeth, lather up the face and eyes, put on enough layers to avoid cold, bedbugs, or any airborn STD within a 5 mile radius,...neosporin and bandaids on the fingers, handcream, and then gloves. 
My. God. 
I'm practically ready for battle....were I ever called to fight in flannel and ointment.  
...But seriously my hands are killing me. 

Time for bed.  My days are all running together and there appears to be no let-up until Saturday night.  Eesh...
Short and sweet.  Hump day ovaaa...

Bird Gazing and Hand-Holding

There are some nights when the thought of cooking another B-cup chicken breast is just slightly overwhelming,...thus, I resign myself to a protein shake.  It usually happens Sunday nights because I've done all my meal prep for the week...cooking pounds of chicken, eggs, cutting oranges, and making salads until my salad spinner sounds dysfunctional...so needless to say, I'm usually throwing something in the blender after all that shenanigans.

Its been a busy few days.  Good Lord.  Glad to get people on board and rolling into the New Year, but I'd be lying if I said I entered it gracefully with a lot of hand-holding.  I was talking about it today with a friend, and one of the greatest things I've learned over the last 8 years is that people are much more likely to succeed if they expect it to be hard and expect to struggle....and I'd be doing a disservice to them by acting like its going to be a walk in the park with a few breaks to watch chickadees and sing kumbaya.  It won't be.  Put your big boy/girl pants on and face it.
Thus, I tend to freely give more tough-love...its life, its honest, so there ya go.
There were tears this week, some breakdowns, reality checks, and some nausea...but its full steam ahead and going to be an amazing journey for all.

I am more than a few days late on this, but I wanted to send a special thanks to my clients for truly spoiling the heck out of me this Christmas.  Unbelievable.  I'm sure some people wanted to wrap up and ass-whoop'n, but refrained...and I thank you.  Ha. 
Although I get it, I totally do.
From coffee and coffee giftcards (why on earth would you all think I like those beautiful brown beans?!), to Nike apparel and handmade items, I was so touched.  Here is a hat a client knitted for me, and I can't tell you how excited I was to actually have something truly fit my 6 7/8 sized cranium...(my forehead is just deceivingly large in comparison...thanks dad).
Allison did an amazing job and I love it!...

 Eventually I'll learn to smile during a selfie...but I was more concerned with trying to hold the stupid phone steady....required more effort than anticipated.
(And also a little crazy about my "home" NC t-shirt....a gift....from me....to me...but thank you Omega Sports**)

Well, Monday is going to be nuts and I need to get my mind right.  School is back in and parents are singing hallelujah ready to get back on a schedule.  Here we go folks...

Princess Pull-ups and AARP Cards

It hit me at about 10am today that holy crap, its 2014.
Yes, to some extent I am a New Years cynic....going out is more expensive, the odds of me staying up to see midnight are slim, and waking up feeling like an assault victim on the first day of the year is both ironic and unappealing.  Have I done it?  Like a champ,...but I hate myself every time.
Generally, I'm so tired by 11:45 that I'd rather fake a pass-out just to lay down...
This year I was asleep by 12:06 and up by 6:30 ready to face the world with a functioning liver.
Despite the last image being Miley Cyrus and Ryan Seacrest in Times Square, (mini nightmare, although I might pay to see that fight), I slept like a baby.

My New Year's Eve festivities began with a nap at 3pm (in which, a phone call from Sparkles killed that dream..literally...about an hour later).  My God I could have slept until today.  Nonetheless, I got up, filled a 32oz container of coffee/liquid meth, and headed to their house to chaperone...
1 creeper, 1 menopausal woman, and 2 sugar-laden girls under the age of 5.
Given the age categories, I realistically knew that with all the laughing and running around, anyone could potentially wet their pants.
Whatever, I was so hyped up on coffee it would have just added to the entertainment.
2014 here we come.....what an awesome way to spend the last day of the year... Loved. It.

I've had clients emailing me left and right about goals for the new year and basically getting "refocused" if you will.  Its been great to see people finally GET that its going to be rough at moments, its going to require intentional effort on a daily basis, and simply owning the fact that it is a CHOICE. 
That is huge.
Personal responsibility is truly at the root of every element at work.  Discipline, motivation, behavioral changes, perspective, etc...once we as individuals truly own the fact that I am MY responsibility, a fundamental shift occurs.  Suddenly, we no longer see ourselves as victims to the world/environment around us, but rather as valuable contributors with limitless potential.  Combine that with the desire to improve, and you've got yourself an unstoppable, beautiful mess.
Very cool stuff.

Many people have asked me what my personal resolutions are, and I'll be honest...I'm not too big on New Years resolutions.  Ironic given my profession, I know.  But its because I truly believe that if you're ready to change, you'll do it.  Whatever it is, and whenever it is....January 1....May 18....September 3rd...doesn't matter.  Shouldn't matter. 
However, with that said I do face 2014 with exciting goals for career, health, and life in general.  An overarching theme if you will is intention.  Living out every aspect of my life deliberately, intentionally,...placing value and time in the things and relationships that truly matter and make a difference.
I love the question: "What are you doing today to better the you tomorrow?"....it spans everything...physical, mental, spiritual, relational...

I'll leave you with that loaded question for your evening. ;)
Happy New Year folks....make it exceptional.