Beach Week 2014

Last night of my vacation.
I am basically glued to the recliner surrounded by emails, books, and an ungodly amount of laundry.  I intended to fold it by now, and if its the thought that counts consider it done.
Two sets of sheets to fold from our beach vacation and you might as well tell me it comes with a complimentary punch in the throat.  Neatly folded sheets is not my forte.  Pillow cases I can handle.  But give me 80 sq ft of Egyptian cotton and I pretty much blackout.  Add the fitted sheet and it becomes a full blown nightmare that ends with me yelling obscenities and vowing to sleep on the couch indefinitely.
I am well aware of my limits...

Vacation was amazing.
7 days with the entire Parker crew,...the beach will never be the same.
We basically got up, drank as much coffee as possible, headed to the beach, stayed there all day, then came in for dinner and more family bonding.....repeat.  I did manage to sleep past 6am each day, which was awesome.  Payton and Haven stayed in my room, so every now and then I'd find myself in fetal position on the side of the bed with a 3 year old foot in my back.  I've never seen a 30lb human sprawl like that and dominate a queen sized bed...

I could honestly devote an entire post to each day of vacation.  The comments, laughs, and random I-can't-believe-I'm-related-to-them moments were priceless.  Here's a quick rundown of a few highlights...

* Sparkles blindly walks into a cement pole while shopping.  The only regret I have is that I didn't have my phone out to capture the moment.  I couldn't comfort her that we were laughing with her and not at her.  We were definitely laughing at her.

* Payton debuts her new single "Naughty [Aunt] Mena"....apparently my new theme song.  Out of all the adjectives, this one is...well...ironic.

* My blood-blister becomes a conversation starter with stranger.  Note to self - wear a damn band-aide.

* Related: 2 toenails fall off.

* Also related: Payton writes song #2 about my toenails falling off, and manages to reference her father throwing seashells at my face on our last beach trip.  Potential American Idol candidate.

* Dad's first attempt at speed scrabble resulted in the words "A" and "I".....nothing more to comment on that.  Pretty self-explanatory.

* Sparkles convinces me to tie "fairy hair" into her scalp.  I judge my myself....and her.

* Urban Dictionary is used more times than not during speed scrabble....generally resulting in me teaching my parents information they should never know or use in public. 


There are many more, I assure you.  And let me clarify my medical issues for a second...
I did not lift weights at all while at the beach....thus, I resorted to cardio.  I ran 5-6 miles Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday....and darn if hump day didn't kick me in the rear.  I returned that day feeling something on the back of my heel:...

Ummm yeah, slight blood blister.
About an hour later, my toenail comes off....and Thursday, another.  I will not show pictures of that because honestly it is gross.  Its happened before, and this is why I just like to lift heavy things and not run until body parts are dismantling.  When those toes hit the salt water I thought I was going to smack my momma.  It was horrible...
They are still hurting, and hopes of a pedicure anytime soon are pretty much shot down.  That, and no romantic foot massages....I will wear socks on every date....for the sake of all parties involved.

I will leave you with a few pics from the Parker vacation 2014...

Unsanitary Naps

It would take approximately zero effort for me to fall asleep right now.  Wednesdays are long and I'm almost to the point of eliminating exercises I have to demonstrate on a mat.  I get down there and its a horrible tease.  Uhhh...just 2 minutes....
I already took one 15 minute snooze.  On the floor.  Music blaring.  I was out cold and could have stayed there for hours.
....Now I look back at all the naps I skipped in kindergarten and want to smack my former self with that ridiculous red and blue mat.  No telling what was growing on that thing.  Not that I care,....I slept on a gym floor.

 Its been one heck of a week thus far since I am slightly short staffed for a few days.  Perhaps its good timing because my vacation is coming up this Saturday.  Thank God. 
I will  be roughing it....and by "roughing it" I mean on a float, at the beach, unintentionally gathering sand in my swimsuit.
The entire Parker crew in one house....heck yes.
Mom is probably busy packing puzzles and some sort of craft to do while she's there.  It never fails that on every family trip she comes back with a souvenir she made...not sure her logic there, but it keeps her happy and entertained.  Meanwhile, dad is constantly reminding me to bring sheets and towels like I was raised in a barn and also suffer from premature memory loss.
He's called me 3 times to tell me this.
At this point I may leave them behind just to witness the mini-meltdown that will occur when I arrive.
But everyone is getting pumped about the trip, and to spend the week with all my nieces pretty much makes my day.  Yes, I will spoil them.  As I should.

As far as working out goes, I may hit the gym once or twice while I'm there, but right now I'm just planning to do some cardio each day.  My body is pretty damn tired right now.  Taking a week off of lifting may be good...physically,...and mentally.  My brain just needs a break from life right now, so the timing of this is perfect.  Its been about 2 years since I've taken a full week off, so needless to say I hope the sand in the crotch of my swimsuit will be my biggest issue in the next 10 days.  I can handle that.

Ok, back to the grind....the afternoon awaits, and my anticipation for 4pm coffee is beyond normal levels.  I think my mouth just started watering.  Pretty sad....

Will Work For Sleep.

I just woke up from my nap.
The 7 minutes post-ZZZ's are pretty much a drunken haze of consciousness in which my general apathy peaks...
Its quite the sight I assure you.  But I think last week was finally catching up to me, and life was paying me back for the night I got roughly one hour of sleep and rolled into a 13 hour day.  Yeah, that was pretty.  So by Sunday I reached new levels of tired,...to the point that I couldn't even muster up the energy to put on a swimsuit and sleep by the pool...no, I opted for a hoodie, argyle socks, and fetal position with my cat.
I judge myself appropriately for this.
But in my defense it was an emotionally draining week as well.  I had a handful of clients moving away, so its never easy to say goodbye to people who are not only clients, but truly friends as well.  As I stood there with one young woman replaying the last several weeks and her growth along the way, I teared up like a baby.  Some people just grab you.
They walk into your life and you're never the same and forever grateful.
...so there I was praying the "waterproof" label on my mascara wasn't a load of crap.
I cried.  Again.

So here I am.
New week, and trying to catch up on sleep, sanity, and this ungodly pain in my traps.
Yesterday, I had to do the trainer/client challenge....Basically, each month there will  be an exercise that the trainers complete and clients choose to try and beat us on reps, time, or whatever the goal is.  This month was the following:
Single arm dumbbell snatch for 1 minute (women 25% of bodyweight, men 30%), with 1 minute rest between arms.
Sounds simple enough.
Yeah,...I cursed a lot in that 3 minutes.
I had to set the bar for the ladies, and it needed to be filmed and timed while I had witnesses, thus I had to do it in the few minutes I had between clients.  Brian was timing, other clients were counting/watching,...talk about pressure on a Monday.
I get 30 seconds into my right arm and thought holy shit I am going to drop this on my face and Brian will naturally post it on Youtube.  No, I didn't drop it on my face, but the difference in 30 seconds and 1 minute was beyond words.  Guys, I may never joke about that time gap again,...I get it...
My grip was fading and my quads felt like jello.  Some of the reps were a blur, and all I remember after the first arm was dropping the weight, walking in circles and saying shit more times than I could count.
I figured if I was going to waste oxygen on words, it was going to be 4 letter ones.  Story of my life.
The minute rest was a joke.
The left arm struggled, I got through,...and no I don't want to have to do that again anytime soon.  My heartrate was up around 190, and my traps today are so sore I can hardly touch them.  Despite my love of lifting and the gym, I don't want to actually feel my traps throb when I go to lift my coffee mug.  That's when happiness dies for me.

Results:
Weight: 30lb dumbbell
Right arm: 36 reps
Left arm: 33 reps
Total score: 69

I have several new clients this week, which is always exciting.  Fresh meat :).
Well, I am going to finish my cups 6 and 7 of coffee and get this train rolling for my afternoon crowd...
Game time.