Focus Forward

There are moments in my day when I am made well aware that my level of patience is equivalent to that of a newly potty trained 2 year old.
Today, that moment occurred at 5:15am.
I'm driving up to a railroad crossing and just as I'm approaching, its like time stood still and my personal episode of Back To The Future was about to end in sheer disappointment.  I didn't make it.  I was going to sit there for what would be the longest 2 minutes and 41 seconds of my day.
I could just picture my mom smiling and saying "Its ok dear, just practice patience..." 
Oh for the love of God.
What's my other option?  I choose that. 
Needless to say, I survived it.....and am no more patient than before the flashing red/white bars slowly lowered and killed my dreams before 6am.
Sorry mom.
Shine on dear woman, shine on....

Well, I'm not quite 100% from being sick this weekend, but today was the best day I've had since pre-turkey fest.  I felt stronger, wasn't breathing like a smoker, and made it through a tough back routine and some cardio.  And honestly, I actually enjoyed my cardio.  Crazy, I know, but I was just thankful to not be moving like a polio-infected amoeba.

* * *

On a more serious note...
There are many areas within my career that I am passionate about, but one that truly hits home is women's health and in particular, self-perception.
I am always blown away by the number of females who genuinely struggle with their self-image on a DAILY basis.  More than the I'm-feeling-bloated days here and there...but rather, a deep seeded insecurity masked behind a smile and continual strive for the "ideal" that does not exist. 
As I spoke with a woman today about it I could literally feel myself getting heated because I wanted to shake some sense into her. 
Its a shame to see a beautiful, athletic, healthy woman beat herself up over NOTHING and choose to live in pit.  Do I think events and circumstances contribute to our self perception?  Absolutely.  But at the end of the day, we have a choice.  We can stay in the unhealthy cycle of illusions and perfection-driven habits, or we can break the cycle and dare to not just apathetically accept who we are, but THRIVE and GROW. 
I've heard it a thousand times...You don't understand because you've never had kids and have stretch marks......You don't get how tough it is to watch yourself get older.......Things change and I can't wait until you're  -- years old....
Ok, you're right.
I don't have kids.  I'm 29, not 49.  I get it.
Here's to the extent I understand...
I cannot move like I did when I was playing volleyball, running track, and playing softball.  I cannot eat whatever I want and expect optimal results.  And dear Lord, my inner thighs do not look the same they did a decade ago.
Those of you 10 years older roll your eyes.  Fine.  The woman 10 years older than you rolls hers.  And the woman at the top of the food chain gives us all the finger.
That's life and this game could go on and on.

Here's the deal...at some point we accept age and body changes for what they are WITH the understanding that it is our responsibility and ours alone to take care of it.  Will "FIT" at 30 look the same as fit at 20?  No.  Will "fit" at 50 look the same as fit at 30?  No.  Why should we expect it to?  Dare to believe that you are constantly creating a better version of yourself.  The journey continues and the best is yet to come...focus forward.  You can either make it great and embrace the opportunity to love and appreciate yourself/health, or you can drive yourself crazy seeking validation in an unattainable goal.
It is a choice.

Sincerely, my desire for all women is this: 
Respect your body.  Take responsibility.  Keep moving forward. 


Its been an exhausting day on so many levels.
I need sleep, a little refocus, and for that horrible train to wait until after 6am to pass...

What Were We Thinking?...

Looks like we all survived Thanksgiving, the ungodly amount of food, and those family moments when you're amazed the tree is still standing.  I totally get it.
Mine was eventful, and yes, I did eat pretty much whatever I wanted...my pancreas was pumping out insulin like a slushy machine and at some point I think I was sugar drunk.  I honestly have no clue how people eat like that on a regular basis.  I was more than ready to eat healthy the next day.

And by "next day" I mean waiting in line in Target with Kelly and Sparkles...

It was a site.
She literally looked like this all night.  ALL NIGHT.  I had to talk her out of buying that elf hat.  I shouldn't have to do that....
I have no clue why we torture ourselves staying up all night for the sake of a few gifts.  Believe me, we questioned our own sanity more than once...especially in Kohl's, as Kelly and I waited for an hour and a half in line.  The woman in front of us had a giant toy firetruck that kept lighting up and making a siren noise loud enough to make you wish you were deaf.  I was 2 seconds from destroying that thing right there. 
What a night.
We had a blast, took coffee to the face more than once, and at 8am I finally made it home and crawled in bed.

And that was pretty much the end of my normal Thanksgiving break.

Friday afternoon I started feeling weird, and by Saturday morning I could hardly take 10 steps without being out of breath or wanting to throw up.
There was that moment face-down in the toilet when I thought I might hack up my spleen, and Oscar just stared at me like I needed to just suck it up and take it like a champ.  I hated that feline right then... Like he can throw up hairballs the size of a ferret but I'm not ever allowed to be sick.
Dumb cat.
Fittingly, I later had to clean up his vomit.
Story of my life.

I spent the day in the recliner watching Hallmark movies.  Bad actors.  Bad plots.  But I figured if I felt horrible I might as well watch horrible tv.  Makes no sense I realize, and yet this is how my mind works.  It was a long day.
But my dear friend brought me some meds and soup.  Granted, she wouldn't get within 6 feet of me, but I didn't blame her.
She didn't ask what she could do she just DID.  Awesome gal.

Today has been much better than yesterday, and I was actually able to eat food for the first time since Friday afternoon.  Still have not had coffee.  Let's not talk about it.  I battled a caffeine headache from hell until about 2pm. 
If I can't have any tomorrow you might see me on the news.

Back to the grind tomorrow.  I truly cannot wait to feel 100%....yes, I probably take good health for granted until I'm face-down hovered over the very spot I've sat on.  Life is humbling at times.

Have a great night folks, and ready to roll tomorrow!

A few Thanksgiving pics...

Holiday Creeper

I woke up this morning in a pseudo-intoxicated state wondering what day it was, where I was, and if I was running late.  I was a mess for the longest 22 seconds of my life until I realized it was Tuesday, I was in fact in my bed, and 4:16 was right on schedule.  Unbelievable.  Nothing like an early morning freak-out to get the day rolling.

This work week has been a quick one.  I've got 2 golfers tomorrow and then I am "done" until Sunday. 
Honestly, I need to try and get some rest this week, but am well aware that there's a greater chance I'll be up cleaning something by 5am most days.  Those of you who are in bed and in deep sleep I curse you....am envious, but I curse you just a little.


On a Thanksgiving note...

Its been a topic for the last week or so in the gym as people gear up for family events and meals that could feed a small village in most countries.
I am always amazed by the number of people traveling for the holidays, and usually dreading some aspect of the whole experience.  Either the travel...or the actual people awaiting their arrival.
Ha....laugh to keep from crying....or drinking heavily.
Its the holidays folks.  Strap on a helmet and hang on for dear life.
We are fortunate enough to have our entire family within a 25 mile radius.  Which should scare the hell out of everyone else in that same area.  We're like a reoccurring bad rash.
While we are always expected to be at every event, its nice not to have people stay with us for days on end.  No offense to my family, but the last thing I want to see at 5am is the face of someone who is forced to use my toilet and drink my water for the sake of a holiday but secretly wishes we weren't related.
I get it.
Perhaps I'm scarred from the days when my dad would wake me up with a video camera in my face while mom sang soprano.  This was my Christmas morning.  Pretty sure its not what Jesus envisioned. 
It only took him 20 years to figure out people actually get arrested for that crap now.
Creeper.

In all seriousness though, I think its extremely important to actually LIVE in a state of thankfulness.  Its sad that we put such emphasis on it for roughly 1 month out of the year and then go on to live our hectic, nose to the grind lives. 
We miss the daily blessings. 
We miss the moments that come to define us.
We become overwhelmed by things that do not matter. 
I genuinely hope amidst the craziness of unruly relatives and sugar-hangovers, we can learn to pause and appreciate the seemingly little things that make life enjoyable, comforting, and a personal journey.

Well, I'm going to get my mind right for the next 3 days.
By Friday afternoon I will not be allowed in public.  I will have been out all night shopping and trying to refrain from using judo-moves on anyone before 3am.  After that, fair game.

Night folks!

Shackled

With the exception of events and the minimal social life I like to imagine I have, I generally spend the weekend swimming in emails and training from behind the computer.  From workout programs and nutritional plans, to mentoring young athletes I can honestly say there is never a dull moment in my professional life.  Thank God.  When I get bored, its never good....pretty much explains much of my decision making of 2001...sorry mom.
But I am always amazed by how much I truly have to study the personalities of my clients.  The fact is that part of my "job", (although some trainers fail to get this), is to train/guide clients in the best way possible that will effectively assist each individual in making lifestyle changes. 
I do not treat every client the same in the weight room.
I do not encourage everyone the same.
My communication style changes.
Every body/mind/drive/self-perception/personality/habits/etc can be like night and day...exhausting to think about, and yet crucial to understand and appreciate to truly be effective on a daily basis.

With all that said, despite personality differences there are certain topics/issues that I come across pretty regularly when it comes to training and nutrition:

* Women afraid to pick up weights in fear of turning into a man
* People thinking they have to starve themselves to lose weight
* The misconception that if you eat fat you'll get fat
.....the list could go on and on....

But this weekend I was faced with probably one of the most common issues for females trying to lose weight.  Yes, I'm sure guys are guilty as well, but based off of my experience its the ladies who struggle with it the most.
And that is....getting on the scale E-V-E-R-Y-D-A-Y.
Some of you already started sweating because you've been on that thing like a pogo stick the last 10 years of your life.
I get it.
Well, my dear client asked me to share this with all of you so I simply cut and pasted straight from my email to her (yes, I can be just as blunt via email).  Perhaps it can shed some light on the subject for those of you who are held hostage to the scale...



 First, let me celebrate the fact that you were completely on point with everything this week!  And to steer clear of the habitual snacking is absolutely huge.  That is practicing some serious willpower, but I hope over the next few weeks it will not feel like such a huge exertion of energy to do so...that you won't even have to think about it.  Ultimately, we want food to sort of take a backseat in your mind so that you are able to use it as fuel, emotionally detach yourself from it, and truly enjoy life without the constant obsession if you will, about it. 
So lets talk about the weight for a second.  Here's the honest truth,....KNOWING YOUR WEIGHT ON A DAILY BASIS DOES NOT EFFECT WHETHER OR NOT YOU ARE LOSING, GAINING, OR MAINTAINING. Read that again.

What I want to emphasize is that your need to KNOW the number actually has NO influence on the actual process itself, but only sets you up to be on an emotional rollercoaster.  Think about it,...before you step on that scale you are setting yourself up for either a moment of extreme satisfaction or disappointment.  And the worst part is that the actual difference between the two emotional extremes can be as little as 1/2 a pound!  8 freak'n ounces.  You could crap that.  So my point is that its not worth the constant up and down and energy spent to know that number everyday.  Because you know as well as I do that if that number is not what you want it to be at any given moment, it will effect the rest of your day.  So ultimately you have to release that control and learn (by experience and practice...scary, but necessary), that you can thrive and meet your goals without weighing yourself on a daily basis.  Go back and read that sentence in bold....its the absolute truth.  :)
 
 .....Continue to attack your illogical thoughts WITH logic.  The more you do it, the easier it gets and pretty soon you'll naturally operate in a more realistic, healthy state of mind when it comes to food.  I promise, and say this from my own experience. 
I am a firm believer in becoming who you want to be to ultimately become who you want to be.  What I mean is, if you want to become someone who has a healthier, balanced perspective on food, then you must operate as such before it becomes second nature.  You must act like that very person you are striving to become, even when it completely clashes with your nature/tendencies right now.  Its like having an athlete who has the opportunity to compete at the national level but continues to train like they did in middle school.  If they want to compete at the next level they must train like they're already there.


Its a journey folks, but always moving forward.   
Good rest and back at it tomorrow...

A Few More Candles

At what age is it appropriate for me to rock this?...

I was at a local country club training one of my golfers and an older man, (note I did not say OLD...my God, before I start getting emails), was sporting this shirt like a champ.  I asked him if I could get a picture and you would have thought I asked for an autograph.  It was great....pretty much made my day.
I think you simply get to a certain age when you wear what you want....fanny pack...light up sweaters...velcro...who cares.
I might bring back stirrup pants.  They make complete sense except for the fact that the actual stirrups, which are the essence of the pants, pull the crotch down to the knees.  After 5 steps I'm not trying to walk around with half a foot worth of extra material between my legs.
Mini fashion nightmare, and yet made sense in 1987.  But so did shoulder pads and the Eurythmics.
Enough said.

Wednesday night was my dear friend Jill's 60th birthday party, and I think I laughed until I cried nearly all night.  It was an ovaries-only party, so of course the conversation was entertaining and generally circled the topic of men, menopause, and everything in between.  I had an absolute blast.
Several of them joked that I was the youngest there and a trooper for hanging out with these ladies.  Are you kidding?!  I am pretty much a menopausal 29 year old....I go to bed well before all of them and at any given moment am about 3 ounces of water away from needing Depends. 
It was my pleasure to be amongst them for the evening.
Not going to lie though,...to wake up at 4 and make it until 11pm that night was a feat in itself.  I should not be held accountable for what came out of my mouth post-8pm.  I typically reach a whole new level of ridiculous.

When someone comes up to me wide-eyed and says "Meredith!  I read your blog!" I usually feel the need to 1) apologize for any brain damage I've inflicted, 2) say you're welcome for simply expressing what others were thinking.  Its quite the dilemma.  But I am always flattered and sometimes even amazed by my audience.  You people are slightly nuts.
Slightly... ;)

Before I finish, another birthday is among us.
My dear friend of 17 years and college roommate, Liz, turns 30 today.  She's taught me so much about life, friendship, and what it means to be in the moment.  There are some people who walk beside you in life, and there are others who will drag your sorry ass when you feel like cannot take another step.  Let's just say she's pulled like a tow truck a few times, and I am forever grateful.
Happy Birthday my dear friend....

29 Going On 60

The questions people ask and the conversations I have on a daily basis never cease to amaze me.
From the never-ending Would You Rather? game Garrett and I play (ironically all parties lose every time if played correctly), to some of the off the wall conversation starters presented by oxygen deprived clients.  I am constantly entertained.
Today was no exception.
I am literally walking out of the break room with my oatmeal in hand, when a young woman looked at me with that I'm-about-to-ask-you-a-personal-question smirk.  At that point I'm pretty much bracing myself for anything, but the topic of Brazilian waxing experiences didn't cross my mind.  Apparently, she's become a regular and asked me if I'd ever go again.
I think it took me literally 0.35 seconds to answer. 
I'd rather take a roundhouse kick to the face.
Absolutely nothing about that process made me pause and think "ya know what, I want to experience this again....in fact, once a month sounds awesome."  Actually, it was borderline torture.  There's a reason parties do not involve hot wax and private parts.
Its not fun.
Ever.
Next time I want second degree burns I'll opt for the McDonald's-coffee-to-the-crotch method...worked nicely in 1994.  Worth a shot.

This was all before 10am.  What a day.

Workout today was exhausting, but solid.  I had the day off from cardio, which is always a plus in my book.  Tomorrow is all cardio....happy hump day to me.

** A pat on the back to a client who ran a 5k this weekend and wanted to break 21 minutes.
Oh he broke it.
19:07...best run he's had in years.  Very cool!

Its going to be a long day ahead tomorrow.  I've got a full work day followed by a 60th birthday party for a dear friend and client.  Where did the time go? 
For the record, when I turn 60 my party will need to be before 3pm.  At that point in my life I'll be headed to bed around 6, and 3:00 will honestly be pushing the limit of my prime during daylight. 
I will be a handful to say the least.
Brace yourself.

Keep Moving...Over.

Despite my make-up efforts, I looked tired all day.  Haggard.  Worn. 
And when people say "Oh you look tired", its the nicest way of saying you look horrible and need to crawl in a hole.  I get it.
That was me pretty much all day, and after a full 7 hours of sleep I have no excuse for my hit-by-a-truck look.

It was a typical Monday with many laughs and a random trip to Sam's Club thrown in there.  Anytime I head somewhere during my break I am literally in my own sick version of a game-show.  I run around the store like I've got 3 minutes to grab everything before the place implodes and I lose.  People look at me like I'm crazy, and my response is to look at them in complete awe that humans can actually move that slow.  I absolutely want everyone to enjoy their shopping experience, but enjoy it on one side of the aisle or the other.  Not the middle.  Choose a side.  You've got about 10 feet to work with,...start a human dance train, do the hokey pokey, have a blast, but for the love of God don't move like an amoeba down the center.
Thank you. 
Sincerely,
Everyone trying to get out of the store in less than 5 hours.


And on another slow note, I thought my cardio would never end today.  It was just one of those days where every minute felt like 10.  Don't kid yourself, of course I wanted to stop.
Overall, it was a great workout day, minus the never-ending treadmill run.

Talked to mom on the way home.
She was so excited to tell me she bought Christmas sprinkles today.  I shouldn't act so shocked.  Give her some puff paint and tinsel and she'll be entertained for hours.  Throw some glitter in there and you'll be lucky to see her in the next 48 hours.
Gotta love that woman.

Ok, time for some sleep.  I'll go ahead and apologize to my clients tomorrow because if I look as tired as I did today, you should get a discount.
Night folks!!

Busted Pointer

I'm alive.
I honestly do not know where the last 5 days have gone, but somewhere between work, workouts, and waking up ready to roll at 3am, they seemed to have flown by.  Its not that my social calendar is full, I promise.  Nor has there been a lack of stories to tell.  One day I need to wear a recorder and let the world listen in on a day-in-the-life-of...
It would be entertaining to say the least.
You'd probably yell "earmuffs!" about 37 times before noon.
And now some of you need to go watch that movie to know what the heck I'm talking about...

On a love note, my cousin got married this weekend, and I was in charge of make-up.  My primary goal was to avoid anything that remotely looked like a hooker.  That is a fine line when getting all dolled up for the big day. 
If it were truly accurate, we'd all come down the aisle in no make-up, a pair of sweats, and our granny panties while our man stands at the alter biting his nails and adjusting himself in front of hundreds of people.
This is your future.
Welcome.

The wedding went smoothly, but count on my brothers and I to get a case of the giggles.  Luckily, David was sitting in the back with the girls so it wasn't a complete family situation.  My dad would have probably backhanded us all while mom cried shaking her head in disappoinment.
Wouldn't be the first time.
But we stayed as well-behaved as expected for this crowd.

Workouts have been great the last few days, and I am definitely ready to hit the weights tomorrow.  I lifted a little bit today until I managed to nearly crush my right index finger on the bench.
Ridiculous.
I was adjusting the stupid thing with one hand and the next thing I knew it comes slamming down on my hand and I thought I was going to throw up.  Not the workout ending I expected, but I was bleeding and pretty much wanted to lay in fetal position. 
That always seems to be the go-to move for any kind of pain.....groin...finger...it doesn't matter.

I've still got a few emails to answer before bed...and a load of laundry to stare at, curse at, and then ultimately fold out of frustration.  The excitement is overwhelming.

Have a great night folks.  New week tomorrow.  Game time.




I managed to nearly destroy my right index finger today.  That was pretty eventful.

Soaring Eagle

If there was a move to bust this morning, I pretty much busted it.
Every song on Pandora sent me back to my prime, (a few short lived years in the early 00's), and next thing I know I'm whipping out moves that should probably stay away from public arenas before 10am.  I couldn't help myself.
I had great music.
I had spandex.
It was game on at that point.

Tuesday workouts are proving to be a huge kick in the rear.  Between my delts and glutes everything was aching and I was honestly glad to be finished.
Its that time of year when I need to sit down and reassess my own fitness goals.  I don't like heading into the holidays without a plan because before I know it its a new year and I'm sitting there bloated and frustrated with my lack of planning.  Its a mini-nightmare for my OCD...

*  *  *

I like to think that over the course of working with clients, they actually start to learn certain moves, the official names, muscle groups, etc...
I mean my God, some people could probably instruct a "squat" in their sleep because they've heard me say it a thousand times.  And if I had a dollar every time I had to look at a backside and tell it to get lower I could have retired 4 years ago.
I literally look at butt all day.
Try not to be too envious.
       So today I was working with one particular client I've had now for 3 years, and we'd just finished up a combination set of lunge jumps and lateral dumbbell raises.  He sits down on the bench sucking some wind and says "I like that one.....the spread-eagle one."
Uhhhh....come again??
I couldn't help but laugh and think that clearly his definition of "spread eagle" is different than mine, and NO WHERE in that routine was the version I was thinking of.  He laughed when he realized we were obviously not on the same page, and clarified that he was referencing the lateral raises.
I shook my head and simply told him never to use that term around anyone in public when describing the exercises I have him do.  Ha.
Never a dull moment...

Its not even 8:30 and I cannot keep my eyes open.  Long day ahead and if my glutes hold up through cardio it will be amazing.  Here we come hump day...

Santa, I Can Explain...

Monday grind.
It was back to a "normal" day at the gym....as normal as you can imagine.
After a long, busy weekend I felt as if I were thrown back in the game without a helmet...or cup...if I were to need one.  Actually, life is a mess...everyone needs one.
Strap in and hang on.

My weekend actually began on Friday as Kelly, mom, and I headed to Greensboro for the Holiday Market....5 hours of shopping in the coliseum.  It was unreal....women breaking out the horrible Christmas sweaters, taste-testing every kind of peanut known to man, buying at least 3 things for myself before I spent on anyone else....the usual.
Sparkles got to meet Santa.
Pretty much the second best day of her life.
First being June 29, 1983.  (Assumed, not fact).
Needless to say, she was loving every second of it.  Moth to a flame.  I swear I think she squealed a few times.  Yes, my mom squeals.  Let's not talk about it.

 We had an absolute blast, capped it off with a gals-night dinner, and then it was full-force into a busy 2 days ahead.

Saturday was Susie's big day on the stage.
I made it out back to Greensboro for the prejudging, and was thrilled with her presentation.  She walked out with confidence, nailed her poses, and I truly think felt good about everything.  As I watched of course my mind drifted back to my last few competitions, the stress, and all that it entails.  It is no small endeavor, and pretty much consumes every aspect of your lifestyle.  And I think people are often amazed by how much it effects them mentally throughout the entire process.  You're essentially subjecting yourself to a panel of opinions,....so effort off the stage does not determine the winner.  There is no direct correlation.  You give it your best and that's it.  Some people have more of an edge than others.
If there's one thing I try to reiterate to competitors its that ultimately they cannot step on that stage seeking some sort of validation.  You must be confident in your preparation, and understand that its a subjective competition.
Easier said than done, I know.
At the end of the day, I was beyond proud of Susie for all that she's put in over the last 5 months.  Now its back to the drawing board and setting new goals...

On a random holiday note,....my tree is up and decorated.
Boom.
Go ahead and hate a little bit.  When I informed my best friend of this, I was quickly met with disgust.  I would expect nothing less...
 Oscar doesn't know what in the heck is going on, but he will marinate under that tree like a honeybaked ham.  That feline loves it.

8:30...I will be in bed in 20 minutes.  Happy Monday to me.
 Night folks!

Showtime

I'm not sure what it is about Friday mornings now, but I am pretty much incapable of sleeping past 4am.  I've been up since 3.  My brain started rolling through my "to-do" list of emails as if I was on speed.  Its beyond absurd.  I need sleep, and yet there I was sucking down my first cup of coffee by 3:30.
The only other people up at this time are drunk college kids and menopausal women with insomnia.
Not sure where I fit in that spectrum.
I've reached a new low.

The bright side of this is that I've already cleaned my house.  But let's be honest, no one can completely appreciate a clean house before 9am because they're too in awe of the fact that you've been up for the past 6 hours and actually think you're an idiot.
Its fine, I get it.

I look like I got hit by a bus.
Happy Friday.


On a much more positive note, I had an AWESOME day of work yesterday.
I had a couple of new golfers, and it absolutely makes my day to watch someone genuinely have a motivating, eye-opening experience in the gym.
It fuels me.
This one particular man has dealt with back pain and tightness while playing for years, and all he wanted was to feel better, stronger, and actually enjoy the game he loved.  It was almost as if he'd resigned himself to the notion that with age comes chronic pain and discomfort during EVERY activity.  Very defeating notion to adopt.
We went over posture issues, core positioning, etc and 15 minutes later here was a nearly 70 year old man doing a straight leg deadlift pain-free in perfect form.  He felt great and like an absolute success after that hour.
That truly made my day and left me pretty darn fired up.  Dangerous.

That led me into my workout, which was a stark contrast to last Thursday's lifting session.  I felt great....awake, strong, and not completely ready to bang my head against the wall during cardio.  Overall, great day in the gym.

Busy weekend ahead.
One of my clients has her first Figure competition on Saturday, so I am headed to that in Greensboro.  She's excited, tired, anxious, pumped,...all of the above.  Its been a long and yet short 5 months of workout/nutrition preparation all leading up to this day.  But she is ready.  In her moments of anxiety, I was reminded of my life in the midst of one competition prep right after another....what a roller coaster.
Yes, I loved the stage.  But there are times when the constant self-critique and fear of "not being good enough" was strong enough to nearly break you.
I totally get it.
I've enjoyed being on this side of competing this go-round. 
So here we go Susie.
Game time. :)

Well, hell, its not even 7am.  What to do....what to do....
Have a great Friday folks!