Swollen Cap and Dirty Lingerie

Mid-day blog post here we go...
This is slightly out of the ordinary, but my God I've been MIA since Monday so you'd think my need to word-vomit has reached an all time high.  It has, let's be honest.

Its post-workout and I'm currently sitting here still sweating, in my own filth, icing my knee.  No, this is not a norm for me, but its been swollen and throbbing since yesterday morning.  My level of patience for crap like this is ridiculously low, but it honestly hurts.  Bad. 
Eh, enough of that.  The second this thing goes numb I will be a happy camper.
There's no telling how it happened.  With all my midnight-dream-antics, I could have easily tried to pull some Jackie Chan move at 2 in the morning and torn my MCL.
I have no sympathy for myself.

This work week has absolutely flown by.
I've got a full afternoon ahead of me and a lot to do tomorrow before leaving for a bachorlette weekend for my soon to be sister-in-law.  About a dozen women in one house....pretty sure that's considered a brothel.  This ought to be interesting, and honestly I'm a little torn with the whole lingerie thing.  Its one thing to give a slutty nightie to a friend.  Its a whole new ball game when it comes to something my own brother is going to see and then inevitably peel off like a scab.
I just compared a $50 piece of silk to a scab.
I've reached a new low.
 This whole thing almost crosses my line of decency.....almost.

Yes, I've already made my packing list.  OCD never sleeps.
It will be nice to get away for a couple of days, rest, and then get back to the grind on Monday. 

Ok, time to get ready for my afternoon folks.  Its that time of day when I have to fight not taking a medicine ball to the face.  So tired.
Make it a great day people.  CHOOSE IT!

Hats Off to the Ladies

Most days just before I workout I want to lay my head on the desk and catch up on some much needed sleep.  Today was no different.  Not going to lie, just having to change clothes felt like a ridiculous task in that moment,...and honestly it pissed me off a little that I unfortunately could not snap my fingers and be decked out in my spandex ready to roll.
I am easily perturbed.  Shocking, I know.
But despite the sluggish start, it was a good workout so I can't complain.

The day didn't exactly start out like I expected...not that life is ever usually what we expect. 
Mom sent an email late last night that my dad's cousin passed away from a heart attack.  His third.  Age 48.
Trying to wrap my head around our own mortality is exhausting enough, but to try and understand why people habitually make choices that contribute to their death is beyond me.  Even more upsetting than the habits themselves is knowing that they were conscious, daily decisions.  Its truly sad.  And this is why I "get on my soap box" so often.  This is the reality we live in.  Fact is that everyday you and I are either contributing to our well-being or our destruction.  Whether we want the ownership of it does not matter,...its ours.

***

On a more positive note, I received numerous texts today of weekend-workout-accomplishments.  It was great.  Some think its silly to celebrate a "little" victory, but I say its vital.  Setting, achieving, and celebrating small goals along the way pave the way for the larger end goals.  Absolutely, bask in your achievements, be proud of yourself and then release it......that way you open yourself up to greater things to come.  Way to go ladies, very cool.
When you guys do anything noteworthy besides in the bathroom, I will celebrate with you as well.  But today I am giving a shout-out to a handful of dedicated females. ;)

Pooped.
I am drained.
This is when I get nervous typing because the filter fell off about 20 minutes ago.  How do you people function after 10pm?  I can hardly think straight and would definitely fail a sobriety test anytime after 7.  Not because I've been drinking, but because my ability to care enough to walk in a straight line and then actually get out of this seat to do it has pretty much become a disability. 
I am ridiculous.
Another day done.

Passed Out.

This weather is unbelievable.
If you live around here and didn't contemplate taking off your shirt at least once today you didn't truly appreciate it.  Gender is irrelevant.  It was a no-shoes, no-shirt, pants-optional kind of day.  Where was that part of the song Kenny?

Despite the gorgeous weather, I managed to wake up feeling like I spent last night in a bar taking shots with the best of them.  Horrible headache,.....after 1500mg and a few hours in solitary confinement I was a more manageable human being. 
It was a busy weekend to say the least...Kelly and I hosted a wedding shower for Jordan and Jan, and manged to pull it off successfully without burning down the house or offending anyone.  (The latter is still up for debate).

Thankfully amidst a pile of work, I was able to rest and get a lot of reading done today.  I went back and forth between 2 extremes:  Chelsey Handler and Gordon Livingston.  Despite her ability to drink....a lot....Handler's word pictures are pretty darn good.  And by good I mean creative and inappropriate 98% of the time.   Got to appreciate that.
Instant laugh.
Stop taking yourself so seriously.  Read it.

On a health note...
I had someone this weekend ask about my "tough love" towards folks about choosing to pull ourselves out of the health-related pits they dig.  What she was getting at, but didn't want to outright say it, was she felt that I only address people with an overweight/obese problem....or that I'm only "harsh" towards them, when there are obviously other types of food-related struggles out there. 
Let me clarify something...
When I speak of our "health/fitness journey", it refers to EVERYONE.  That means, yes, the person who needs to lose 50 pounds, but also to the person who needs to gain weight and a proper prospective with food.  I've mentored and worked with dozens of people with diagnosed eating disorders, and others who might as well have a label too.  And I'm 99.9% certain they would say I attack their issue with the same tough love.  "Healthy", and the steps necessary to get there look different for everyone.  There is no cookie-cutter method.  I've got people who need to clear out the pantry, and I've got others who need to practice eating peanut butter once a week to face their fear and realize they will be OK doing it.  In both circumstances, we all have a choice....to muster up courage to change and move forward, or refuse it and marinate in a false sense of security and happiness.
My point is, no matter what your particular means-to-health looks like, I will always encourage and push for action.  If it seems harsh, I don't apologize because its with urgency understanding that we are given one body and one mind.  Thus, its OUR OWN RESPONSIBILITY to make healthy decisions on a daily basis to foster growth, balance, and a sense of accomplishment.
Embrace the opportunity,...WHATEVER that path looks like.

I have a feeling that is going to spark a few emails...

Well, I've got a load of dishes staring at me that are naturally not going to wash themselves.  Booo.  I'll leave you with this picture of Oscar. 
Apparently he slipped himself a roofie.  Completely passed out.

Monday awaits,....go get it.

Birthday Girl Strikes Again...

9:15 and I just walked in the door.
I could literally hit the floor right now, and would if I didn't think there was a possibility that Oscar would vomit on or near my face during the night.  I don't quite understand his ability to regurgitate something the size of a gerbil without a near death experience.  But apparently he escapes death quite often...

Long day, but great day.
Sparkles turned 58 today, so naturally I had to surprise her at work...

This is her standard pose.
Seriously, this is my mom's go-to move.  Gotta love it.
I was truly excited to surprise her, and not quite sure if she was expecting a clown or stripper, but I couldn't afford either.  However, I did offer to pull up my shirt if she wanted to throw change at me....she just shook her head.
I recognized the How-are-you-my-child-and-what-is-wrong-with-you? look.
Nonetheless, there's nothing like a mom-hug in the middle of a long day...
Happy Birthday Sparkles ;)

It was a great day of work, but I am ready to get some serious sleep tonight.  Yes, I will still probably be up at 6am, but hey, its not 4 so I'll take it.  Workout, coffee with a friend, and then cleaning/grocery shopping.  I'm out of cottage cheese, which is a mini-crisis in our house.  And if I ran out of chicken at the same time you might see me on the news.

I just got a text from my sister-in-law, Kelly.
She told me last night she was going to fit in some cardio today, but was honestly not motivated.  We laughed as I was unable to muster up any compassion and just told her she had to CHOOSE to be motivated and just do it.
She did it.  Feels great and eager to go at it tomorrow.  I love it. 
I swear I think there are times when my family wants to hit me...
I get it.

Ok, time for bed.  Big Friday lays ahead...

Confessionals and Excuses

This week is apparently confess-to-your-trainer-and-pray-they-don't-beat-you week.
Over the last 48 hours I've received an onslaught of texts/emails about weekend beer extravaganzas.  You would think I ran a recovery group.
One after another clients were randomly confessing their nutritional sins to me as if I was going to interrogate them otherwise.  Which I'm not opposed to, let's be honest.  But I was truly amazed by the number of people practically word-vomiting about the crap they drank, ate or both.

I appreciate the honesty, and truth is that if I know they are doing everything right on the workout end of things and progress is not going as planned, then yes, its time to take a hard look at the other 90% of the time when they are not with me.
Its comical to me though how often people will be quick to admit there is a problem or they are unhappy and want to change, but damn if they are willing to take the next step.  So then I'm left wandering why, if they are THAT unhappy about something they ultimately have control over,  remain in a self-dug pit of continual poor choices?  At some point, the fact that "it's hard", (as I've heard countless times), has to outweigh the misery of living in a place where self-worth is hardly visible anymore.  Buck up.  Change is never comfortable, but neither is poor health and self-image.  We are so disillusioned to think that everything should come easy and if it doesn't then its "bad" or "wrong."  HA.  Because Heaven forbid that we push ourselves, spend time planning healthy meals, get up early to fit in a jog, or take time to teach our kids the difference in an apple and a debbie cake.
Unbelievable.
I get fired up because our health as a nation is literally going down the crapper and I get so sick of excuse after excuse.  Common lines:
"...I can't get up early to workout because I'm tired." - yeah, me too, I'll call you at 4:16 when my alarm goes off.
"...natural food just doesn't taste good." - because you are used to things 500x sweeter and fattier, of course they don't taste good yet.  GIVE IT TIME.
"...fast food is everywhere and so tempting." - THEY are not driving your car.  Keep moving...its called good 'ol fashioned will power and its like a muscle, the more you practice it, the stronger it becomes.
"...healthy food is expensive." - not as expensive as heart surgery, years worth of meds, or your funeral.

....and the list could go on.  Truth is, no permanent changes will occur until there is internal motivation....basically, a deeper desire and drive to achieve stemming from VALUE we personally place on something, (in this case, health).
At the end of the day, as I've said numerous times...
Your Body.  Your Responsibility.

* * *

Whew,  little tangent there.
Perhaps I'm still pissed about our dryer being broken.  Don't want to talk about it....they just need to fix it asap.  The guy came in today, looked at it for literally 5 minutes, said he couldn't fix it, and then charged us $120.  I had to practice self-control not to toss a dumbbell at him like a tomahawk.  Needless to say I was in rare form after that.

Workout today was great.  I was truly tired even though I was passed out last night before 9:30.  I can't imagine what time I'll hit the bed in 40 years...5..4:30...who knows.  But I think anything after 3pm is fair game at that point.

Speaking of tired,...time to roll.  I can hardly keep my eyes open and I still want to read in a new book.  I don't do the whole Kindle thing.  I want a real, paper, tree-sacrificing book in my hands.  Its mainly about the smell....AND the fact that I can look back and see how far I've read and be proud about it.
I know, that part of me is still in 3rd grade.
I am easily pleased, what can I say...

Lost In The 'Mat

Every Monday has a moment when you're about 3 seconds from the greatest epiphany of your life or a complete meltdown.  Ironically, it will occur in front of at least a handful of people you thought for sure would go nuts before you.
Amazing how life unfolds.

My meltdown nearly happened today in the laundromat.  That's right, I managed to waste part of my day trying to figure out why those dern machines stopped taking quarters.
Long story short, our dryer at the gym decided to take a dump on our Monday and stop working.  Oh it tumbled,...just failed to dry. 
Like eating a porterhouse with a spork.  Useless.
So we were backed up with about 50 wet towels and half a day to go....thus, I make my trek to the laundromat.
I walk in and spend the next 5 minutes reading signs and instructions to what appears to be a credit card for the machines.  All I had on me was a $20 bill, so the machine excitedly tells me that for every $20 you load on the card, you get an extra dollar.  You know what I don't want?  A $21 value gift card to the laundromat. 
I nearly get a hernia loading the soggy towels into a dryer, and insert the card.  6 minutes.  Why is the stupid thing only giving me 6 minutes?  I've got a fortnight worth of cotton in there, why can't I get longer than 6 minutes?!
For the life of me, I couldn't figure it out.
It was at that moment I realized my college degree was worthless because I was pissed off with soggy towels holding a laundromat credit card.
I took a breather and had to watch a woman operate the machine to figure it out.  What a creeper move, and yet I was 2 seconds from kicking it, making a scene, and being the first person to be thrown out of a laundromat for fighting.....with myself.

Its amazing I made it through the afternoon after that.  No one needs a traumatic Monday with wet towels.

Workout today was solid...Garrett and I took it old school with the music.  A song would come on and I was immediately back in 9th grade fist pumping with braces and a set of bangs that could take on the world.  Speaking of, last week I woke up to 6 facebook messages that I'd been tagged in a photo.
This is always nerve racking because there are a handful floating around from 2002-2005 that should never resurface.  Thankfully, these were not it.  But not so fortunate for me, they were team pictures from 8th and 9th grade volleyball and softball.
I like to call that phase in my life the I-wanted-to-think-I-was-pretty-and-why-did-my-parents-let-me-live-that-lie phase.  Thus, waking up to the reminder of horrible hair, braces, and freckles was a mini-nightmare.....for me and everyone on facebook.  Dear Lord.

Now you're curious.

Second row, second from the right.
I have nothing to say for myself.  Its comical.  I deserved to wear that decade old polyester.

Ah, well, I am spent and currently waiting for towels to dry.  Story of my life.  I may go on towel-strike starting tomorrow.
Time for some shut-eye.  More to come on Tuesday....some client beer-confessionals and breakdowns in the gym...

Let the good times roll.

Wedding Bells and Eager Grooms

Rainy Sunday.
Fine by me...I needed a rest day.  And after 5 hours of emails and computer work, my brain was pleading with me to stop.
Some of you are used to sitting in front of a screen all day.  Not me.  Its amazing I survived college.  But after overdosing on tea and 2 calls to mom for distraction, I was glad to be done. 
Its unfortunate I can't prank call them anymore.  They figured out caller I.D. 
Its ironic that technology is slowly stripping away my entertainment...

Weekend was good and fairly eventful.
One of my dear friends whom I've known for over 20 years got married on Saturday.
Here's a throw-back picture of us before our senior prom.  She's jokingly kneeling down because with heels she's well over 6' and makes me feel like a midget.

 Ceremony was beautiful, and I always like to watch the groom's face when those doors open and the bride makes her way down the aisle.  Ladies, just know that when he's looking at you smiling and practically drooling on himself, he is not analyzing your dress or how your hair looks.  No, your gentleman up there is standing shoulder to shoulder with the pastor picturing you naked and ready to jump on you like a sex criminal. 
Romantic isn't it?

Speaking of, the Mrs. texted me this morning.
Not going to lie, while I was grateful to hear from her, I couldn't help but think that being the morning after her wedding there was a high probability they were naked a few minutes ago,...currently,... or were going to be.  I suddenly felt the need to sanitize my phone.

I hit a serious wall today....I think it had to do with the weather.
But there I was sitting in church about to take communion knowing that if I closed my eyes for one more prayer I may end up in fetal position on the floor.  So I opted to simply stare at the cup and pray that grape juice would somehow transform into the strongest shot of expresso known to man. 
Oh I believe He heard me.
He just probably shook His head.
Its ok,...I'm used to it.

I'm ready to hit the gym tomorrow.
Like a moth to a flame.
It will be a busy week and then we'll hit full-fledged wedding mode after that.  5 weeks until my little brother gets married...showers...bachelorette weekend...breast pads to sew into my dress....so much to do.
And of course I have to prepare my speech.  5 bucks says mom is honestly worried I just might offend someone in there. 
Perhaps....and if I wing it, then yes, its safe to say that something might slip that we'll have to have a family meeting about later.
But 5 more bucks says I cry like a baby.  At which point I will try and play it off like someone let one rip at my table...


Here we go Monday....game time.

Wide-Eyed and Ready To Go

I had one of those mornings where you're driving to work and 22 miles later you can't really figure out how you got there because you're entire memory of the car ride vanished like a fart.
I pulled into the parking lot, loaded all my bags, and literally crawled into the gym.  I look like a packed mule headed into that place.  Gym bag,....purse that could hold a small child,....cooler full of food that might as well have wheels,...and my 24 oz coffee mug.  This is my life.  All this crap is the next 12-13 hours of my life. 
The the beauty of OCD is that you are always prepared.  Over-packed, maybe, but definitely prepared.

Honestly, I struggled to get going during my workout today.
I was extremely tired and knew that if I didn't get my cardio done first, it probably wasn't going to happen later.  Its not my preferred order, but today I had to switch things up just to get it done.  Before I knew it I was in the shower and figuring out how many days its been since I've washed my hair.
I borderline unsanitary sometimes and yet it doesn't bother me enough to do anything about it yet.  Eh...

I decided to run by Hallmark today and you would have thought it was the end of the world.  There I was perusing the cards and one by one, bought that.....sent that one 3 months ago....bought that one.....and that one....for the love of God someone make some new cards.  I was losing my mind trying to find a funny card that I haven't already sent or bought 2 copies of to send 2 different people.  Shocking, I have 2 friends.  But you get the point.
Minutes later I'm in the Spanish section trying to figure out what the hell the cards say so maybe I could go bilingual with the whole card thing.  No such luck.  Thank you for the two years of high school Spanish,....they could have been written in German and it really wouldn't have mattered. 
...And that's why blank cards are worth every penny of $3.49.

Highlight of my day came this afternoon.
I started with a new athlete last week, and when he came in I pretty much got to the point.  I find that the majority of young athletes will place value in 2 areas in regards to their sport: Play and Practice (with more emphasis in the first).  Sure some of them might enjoy aspects of training when they feel it directly correlates to the field/court, but its always shocking to me the number of kids who put forth a fraction of the effort they do during competition.  And then as expected, they often fail to appreciate the impact rest and proper nutrition have on their game.  I see this EVERYDAY.
Thus, I've pretty much stopped being nice about it and cut straight through the crap during the evaluation.  I was very frank with him about how his nutrition habits needed to change and that it wasn't his mom's responsibility to have his protein shake ready or lunch made.  I remember he just looked at me wide-eyed like I was about to get him in a choke-hold.  I might have if I thought it'd get my point across.
So I get an email from his dad today.
Long story short he's seen a 180 in his son's mindset.  Not only was he getting up at 5am for workouts/running, but he had his protein ready to go and made his own lunch this week for school packed with fruits, veggies, and healthy sandwiches. 
I nearly threw my shoulder out doing a fist pump while reading.
It was awesome, and that's what its all about.  Empowerment.  Not hand-holding and creating dependent athletes and clients on a trainer, coach, or parent for motivation and the extra push,...but rather giving them the opportunity to succeed and prove to themselves they are capable of much more.  Not to say we don't need accountability and inspiration in our lives, but the goal is to come to a place where we truly are fueling our own drive and determination to achieve.

That kid took some major first steps this past week.  Way to go.

On that note, I am done for the evening.  Tired and not feeling too well, I need a solid 8 hours tonight.  More on the plate tomorrow...this train keeps moving...

Bucket-seats

Alarm might as well have cursed at me and thrown itself into my face this morning.
I was passed out face down like the sleep-champ I am, and any notion of getting out of bed in no way sounded appealing at 4am.
I only have myself to blame.  Well, and my little brother.
As of last night we have a new addition to our household.  No, I haven't been hiding a child for the last 9 months...not in this spandex.  Although that does remind me of the show I Didn't Know I was Pregnant.  Its absolutely fascinating the number of people who will gain weight, start lactating like a multi-nippled feline, and then act surprised when a perceived case of horrible diarrhea turns out to be, oh my, a fetus.  Unbelievable.  Why do we allow these people to ever drop their pants?
Anyway, it has nothing to do with any of that.
Jordan is staying with us until his wedding day in October.  Its like we're in middle school all over again except mom is not here to be the referee.  So last night we stayed up for a bit and talked, laughed, and contemplated life...eh, we didn't figure much out except that dad may need to come out of retirement pretty soon.  He's too happy all the time...we think Sparkles, (mom), is starting to rub off on him.

It took me awhile to get going this morning, and everything seemed to roll on as normal, but I struggled to find any type of rhythm in my workout.  I was at that point where if I stopped to think about how tired I was I would consider making my way to the massage room and catching up on some beauty rest.
Needless to say, I was very relieved to get to my last set.  Done.  And since I had quads today, that meant no cardio.  Happy Birthday me.

Ah, Wednesday.
My morning is nutty and then I'm going to get my windshield fixed.  I've been riding around with what looks like my involvement in a drive-by right in the middle of my windshield.  I am a disgrace to automobiles everywhere.
Except the smart car.
Still looks stupid.
If you have one, congrats its very green of you, but if a pebble flies up from an 18-wheeler consider your vehicle DONE.
I'd feel safer in my Papa's jeep.....which had no top...or seats....just 2 buckets and a prayer.

Alright, I'm spent.  If I wake-up tomorrow bloated I will be 3 for 3 this week.  Oh I can't wait.  Someone will have to juice me by Friday...

Sponge Affect...

Its too bad there's not an award for most bloated on a Monday.
I would win.
Second to waking up with a hangover on the first day of a work week, is waking up hoping your water will break...except I'm not pregnant.
But somehow the release of excess fluid in whatever form sounded fine with me.  By 9am I was fairly certain my body was preparing for a water shortage from hurricane Mutton.  I have no clue where that name came from.  No one wants their house claimed to "Mutton."  At that point, you pretty much lose at life.
Point is, it was a bloated Monday.

My morning was fairly normal with a couple of people who didn't hear the alarm.  Also a very bad way to start a Monday.
When I oversleep I go into a rage of anxiety and am completely irrational.  Imagine that.  Next time it happens I should definitely youtube it.  If tons of morons make money off the mess they post, I'm bound to get a few pennies from a 4am freak-out. 

On a more serious note...
Today I had a client tell me about a family member starting a "cleanse" next week.  While I'm not crazy about these things, in extreme cases it does serve as a jump start to weightloss.  She said this young lady was pretty resistant stating that "I shouldn't be judged by my weight/looks."  Boy have I heard this many times.
To which I would say, you're right.  We shouldn't.  That's ideal, but not realistic.  Yes, the goal is to value and love ourselves for the true essence of who we are, and...here's the kicker....that includes taking care of your physical body.  For me, or any other health professional for that matter, to suggest that someone who is 50+ pounds overweight to lose weight is not a judgmental statement on someone's VALUE as a human being.  Its an assessment of health.  With risks such as heart problems, diabetes, and high blood pressure, I'm often at a loss trying to understand how people are that lazy as to refuse to even make small changes that would improve their quality of life.
Because the truth is, they often talk a big game of "I love myself" and "You shouldn't judge me by my looks", but its generally a defense mechanism towards any introspection and ownership.  I get it.  But look beyond that and see the bigger picture.
One body.
One life.
Your responsibility. 
This should be an empowering thought and yet for many it carries a greater burden than any excess weight.  Because Heaven forbid something take effort, consistency, and a choice to step outside our comfort zones that often are not comfortable at all. 
Long story short, at some point this young woman has to be honest with herself and choose health over a life of denial and defense.

Whew, ok I'm spent.
Time for a little shut-eye and back to the gym in approximately 7.5 hours....but who's counting?...

Saturday Rub-down and Sunday Brunch

Already Sunday night and I would pay some serious money for another few hours of daylight.
And by "serious" I mean 10 bucks...that's about what I'm worth right now.  But today was a nice dose of Fall-like weather and I just wanted to lay in my yard....minus the crab grass...or my neighbor's dog whose voice box is that of an entire herd.
What a great day.

My weekend started with a Saturday massage....a MUCH needed massage.
My glutes were so tight I was practically hobbling in there like the 95 year old woman I secretly am.  I had a gift certificate to the spa and took the first available therapist. 
It was a man.
Not going to lie, its sort of like your gyno...woman, man, team of 4 doctors, whatever...at some point it doesn't matter because your pants are down and you're footing the bill.  And for the love of God, stop trying to hold a conversation during the process.  That's one time I truly have nothing to say.  Nothing.
Nonetheless, the hour rolled on and I was truly thankful he didn't try to talk to me.  It was just that kind of day....rub my traps, dig your elbow in my rear, but don't talk to me about the weather when I'm naked under a sheet covered in lube.
That taps near whatever line of decency I remotely have.

I was pretty much a noodle for the rest of the day.  I came home, got on the couch with a couple of books and didn't leave that spot for a few hours.
Can't beat some good 'ol ME-time.

Met my college roommates for lunch today.  Always a great time.
We meet for lunch simply because meeting at the bar doesn't fit into our going-to-bed-before-10 lifestyle.  I just searched really quick for a picture to post and the first ones I came across involved leather pants, a yam, and a stethoscope.  It explains so much...

When we get together it never fails that the conversation dips from career and babies to "that one night junior year"...we were rockstars.  Hell, we still are.
After an amazing grilled chicken salad and enough H2O to rehydrate the Kenyan track team, we laughed and talked until they were no longer serving lunch.  I often feel sorry for the people next to us,...99% chance they are emotionally damaged from listening in.  On the other hand, they probably learned A LOT...more than they wished.  So for that, you're welcome.

Ah yes, Monday is on its way.
I'm ready to get back in the gym.  My hamstrings are tight and were no fun during my cardio the last 2 days, so I have every intention of hitting the foam roller tomorrow.  I should be sleeping on that dern thing.
So, I received a text last week about making lifestyle changes and discouragement.  Its interesting that one trend I see sooo often is that people get discouraged when they realize its not a quick fix....as if 2 weeks is going to make up for YEARS of crapping decision making and laziness.  Really?  Come on.  Why do we expect it to be easy?  And guess what?  ITS OK IF ITS NOT.  The world will not end if you break a sweat, cry for your mom, or even bleed during a workout.  Life will not cease around you if you actually dread giving up sugar.  Its OK.  Hate it...complain...but DO IT.  Stop making excuses and do it.
New day tomorrow.
Get after it.

Blackberry Blow-up

Less than 5 hours of sleep and a face covered in sheet-wrinkles and drool was how my morning started.  It was a sight.
I went to my brother's house last night and didn't get to bed until after 11...might as well be 2am in my sad world.  My days of being able to go to bed late and still manage to function like a normal human being are pretty much over.  But truly, to kiss my nieces goodnight was worth less sleep.  I go badass-to-softy in about 0.6 seconds with those girls.

So there I was taking coffee to the face like I was going for a world record. 
Laying on a mat to demonstrate bridges at 6am was cruel and unusual punishment...I was just one side roll from my ideal snoozing position.  If I stayed there too long it was going to be all she wrote.

The morning went on and it was as if a memo went out around 10am for people to start texting me.  When I look down and see 6 different texts sent at once I am fully aware at that point that my blackberry has turned into a media whore, and I am going to have the worst arthritis flare up by noon.
I may have lost both thumbprints, but I was happy to be available to my clients.  There's a popular quote that says "People do not care how much you know until they know how much you care."  I firmly believe that....especially in my field.  Trainers are a dime a dozen, and some may have a burning passion for fitness, but if you don't care more about the lives you influence and push, you completely miss the bigger picture.

I'm spent.
Its nearly 10pm and my ability to make logical decisions or even hold normal conversation is shot.  I'd sleep right here at the kitchen table if I thought I could handle the salmon stench.
I better crawl up the stairs before all motivation is lost and I'm in fetal position on the table.

Karate Moves From Father Time

Sometimes I love waking up at 2 in the morning.  Seriously.  However, its only when I wake up thinking its 4 but its actually 2.  At that point, I roll back over, untangle myself from the hair-web I've managed to find myself in, and assume my left-side-fetal-slumber.
Heaven.
Two more hours of unconscious bliss.
Then WHAM, Father time pulls a side kick to the throat, time speeds up, and before I know it the alarm is screaming in my ear.
Its amazing I survive mornings.

From the stories told, it seemed as if everyone had a good Labor Day.
Then again, we always seem to find a reason to cookout and drink,...honestly though.  New Years...July 4th....Halloween...the actual holiday seems to be irrelevant.  Pretty sure we'd take shots and face dive into casseroles on Flag Day if over 50% knew the actual date.
Exactly.
June 14th, look it up.
My point is, I think today was a detox day for some, and a typical Monday-crammed-into-Tuesday for others.

Personally, I was pumped about getting back in the gym and diving into the weights.  What a meathead, I know.  But I took yesterday off from work and working out, so I was practically going through withdrawals by 10am. 
It was a good workout, but didn't flow exactly how I'd hoped.  Tis life.  I gave it what I had today, and tomorrow is leg day so time to refocus.
Currently, I can't feel my midback.
Great.  Sleeping will be interesting...

I had a client come in today and burst into "I had my breakfast and lunch on time today, hydrated well, and I'm ready to go!  I guess I have no excuses, ha!"  I laughed and honestly anticipated a great workout.  He thought he was just joking, and yet what he did/said is SO true and important.  Everything works together when it comes to training.  Nutrition, rest, hydration, mental stress, etc....it ALL effects performance.  All too often people perceive they had a "bad" workout because they felt sluggish or tired or queezy, but neglect to consider the entire picture.  Each aspect holds value.  Just another example of why its considered a lifestyle change.
When we're truly honest with ourselves, there is generally room for improvement in each of these areas.  What are we waiting for?

Well, my house smells like salmon and I'm staring at a sink full of dirty dishes that never seem to wash themselves. 
Tuesday done.  Embrace tomorrow folks!

Cold Water, Warm P

Feels like Sunday night.
After returning from a whirlwind trip to the beach, I spent the majority of my day washing clothes, folding clothes, and cooking an absurd amount of chicken.  I was, however, able to squeeze in an afternoon nap on the couch.  Amazing. 
I prefer naps in a coffin-position (on my back, feet together, and hands laced on my stomach)...its creepy, but its hard to get a full-out fetal position on a small couch.  You do what you have to do.

Beach weekend with friends and 5 kids under the age of 6 meant a lot going on,...ALL THE TIME.  Never a dull moment.
Sunday I went for a jog,...not that I wanted to, but it was my only option.  I started out on the beach, but soon realized the tide was not out enough to maintain a jog without risking a face plant or broken ankle.  Thus, I had to cut across someone's dock and front yard like a criminal and get to the road.  It was a long 5 miles.  Nothing really felt smooth, and I was glad to be done and then continue my day as a beach-sloth. 
The water was surprisingly cold to me, which meant every time I had to use the bathroom I couldn't even stay out there long enough to fake like I wasn't.  No, it was pretty darn obvious every single time.  A 2 year old squats in the water and we laugh.  A 29 year old squats and all of a sudden its not funny anymore.  Somewhere between 2 and 29 is where I apparently went wrong.

Tuesday grind tomorrow.
It is going to be fairly nuts since we were closed today, and the number of hangovers will be slightly higher than normal.  I get it.  Just don't act like you're doing me a favor by working out while feeling like death.  It trips me out when people say "but Meredith, aren't you proud of me for still coming in?!"...uhh no, I'd be proud of you if you didn't treat your liver like rag doll.  And honestly, if you throw up there's a 100% chance I will have little-to-no sympathy....small gap there, good luck.
May sound mean, I'm just a firm believer in taking responsibility for yourself, your health, and the consequences of your daily choices. 
Some just seem to be better decision-,makers than others.

Night folks.  Make it a great day tomorrow!