Goodbye 29...

Hello 30.
Here I am.
I survived my birthday weekend, and can honestly say that while its been a mental hurdle to jump at the thought of my age beginning with a 3, I excitedly enter the next decade.  Game.  On.

We went out for some sushi, celebrated with a couple of my girls and family, and then retired to bed before midnight.  That pretty much set the standard right there.
I found myself sitting between my two pregnant friends at dinner, and as their growing breasts kept staring at me, I suddenly felt the need to take a pregnancy test after my rainbow roll.
We've officially entered that stage in life,...where you're either lactating, about to start lactating, or talking about lactating.  I've learned quite a bit, and cannot wait for their little ones to arrive.
...A couple more young minds to influence

Here are a few pics from the evening...

The night did not end there.
I woke up the next day (my official birthday) to a notification on my phone from facebook.  There was a picture of a pink flamingo and balloons in my yard.  I was in that stage of groggy/semi-coma so it took me a few minutes to figure out what the heck was going on.
Posted by my sister-in-law, Jan, I knew this was only the beginning...
Mailbox covered in streamers,...garage door decorated with banner and napkins,...streamers in the bushes,...banners on the house and door,...
When mom and dad stopped by a few hours later, I opened the door to discover that mom was standing in a massive spread of confetti glitter. (Ironic and yet very appropriate).
Apparently Jordan and Jan came by at 2 in the morning to do all this...unbelievable.
I left it up,....mainly to prove a point to someone who has an entire flee-market collection in the front lawn,...but also because the effort it was going to take to clean it up in 90* heat was more than I was willing to give on my birthday.
It was funny and I appreciate the effort ;)
And yes, the confetti is still on my walk-way......and now in my house....

Needless to say, I felt extremely loved this weekend...by family, friends, clients, the waiter at Mt Fufi who didn't kick us out for being loud...
Thank you everyone who sent me text/email/phone calls,...it truly means a lot, and I appreciate your kind words more than you know.  You are a part of my journey, and I am grateful.

I mentioned last week that I was coming up with a list of 30 things I've learned in 30 years.  I will post it tomorrow.  It will be all that I leave with you to read.  Shockingly, it is a serious list and I genuinely put a lot of thought/time into it.  Brace yourself.
So there ya go,....anticipation mounts.

Drunk and Haggard

More often than not my Tuesday morning feels like a recovery from a Monday beating.  Apparently I took shots in my sleep because the undeniable life-hangover this morning was pretty darn intense.  Once I get my first sips of coffee I'm usually good to go,...its actually getting to that point that is the struggle...

In no way did I actually feel like working out today,...in all honesty, I was so tired before I began that my chances of passing a walk-the-line test were pretty slim.  I was tired-drunk.
You know exactly what I'm talking about...
You're so tired you feel drunk,...haven't drank,...but feel like you might as well drink,...so you just marinate in your own worthlessness.  Yeah, that is generally the state I fight at least a few times per week.
I try not to show it, but people every now and then comment "Mer you look tired!"....which we all know is code for "you look like hell"...
Yes, I know.
I promise my goal is not to look like a portrait of awful and haggard prior to 4pm everyday.
That inevitably comes later...

Despite my desperate need for sleep, I got through a great workout and stayed awake in the shower.  Yes, I have dosed off during a scrub down. 
Not my proudest moment.
Add it to the list.

* * *

...Had a great conversation with a client this morning about setting goals and just what it looks like on an individual basis.
I covered this last Saturday, and it seemed to be a eye-opener for many in terms of long-term/short-term aspirations.
One thing I've noticed is that the majority of folks fail to honestly examine the day to day goals they can set and achieve to ultimately give them momentum to reach the long term ones.  As I've said before, it is critical to acknowledge these steps and victories along the way because they are important growth steps and catalyst for greater strides.  It may look different from person to person, but in essence it is the basic steps that move you forward...wherever "forward" goes for you.  And sometimes its not these huge nutritional/workout accomplishments we traditionally think of.  It can be anything that contributes to a greater YOU and ultimately betters the mind/body/soul you present to the world on a daily basis.
Here are a few examples:
- Incorporate 2 new stretches at the end of my workout
- drink 1 more glass of water
- increase weight on ____ exercise by 10%
- Spend 15 minutes leisurely reading with no distractions
- do not skip any meals due to "busyness" 
- Get in bed 10 minutes earlier

All of these are health related, but different...and doable!

Today, my list includes earlier bedtime and not putting a teenager in a headlock for complaining...
Small steps.

I Will Touch Your Back,...But Not Your Book

Its been an entire week.
I have nothing to say for myself except that life's been crazy and my sanity level questionable.
So where do I begin?...

I took a day off last week to catch up on some things before giving my talk on Saturday, and I discovered that I can do some serious vacationing at the house.  Give me a list of projects, a day off with a bucket of lysol wipes, and I am totally content.
I cleaned and organized my fridge, a few cabinets, my shoes....oh my God my life is sad.  Kids, this is your future.  Embrace it.

Made my way to Barnes and Noble this weekend. 
Honestly, I'm a closet nerd.  I love reading, but rarely have time and fall asleep after a few pages....(you can see where college was problematic). 
I always gravitate to the psychology section,...and if I'm feeling stalked (you know when this happens to you and its super awkward for all parties involved), I immediately pick up a book on sexual dysfunction or suicide.
Sorry, I just want to read in peace without feeling like I've got a creepy best friend I didn't ask for following me amongst the binds.
I spent nearly an hour in that store before my eyes were burning and I finally decided on something.  Yes, I should utilize the library, and I can't justify not except for the fact that the thought of all those people touching the books freaks me out.
Its ironic I say that because I work in a gym and will touch someone's sweaty back, but hesitate to hold a few dirty pages.  No need to judge me,....I judge myself.

My talk went well this weekend, and I was thrilled with the questions people asked...it was great.  And I was pleasantly surprised to see my mom and sister-in-law stroll in as well!  Anytime my family opts to support me publicly I know they are taking a risk on many levels.  Mainly because there's a high chance I'll say something that leads to the "how-are-you-my-child?!" conversation.  I have it memorized.
I get it.
But seriously, I was truly touched everyone took the time to come out and listen to me get on my soap box for a little while. 
Yes, I could have stayed on that box for a few more hours if I thought I wouldn't eventually get dehydrated and pass out.

Whew,...halfway through my day...5 hours to go.
And it marks the last few days in my twenties....heaven help us all... :/

Home of the Brave...and the Fairies

Already Monday.
Despite a low-key (sort of) weekend, it absolutely flew by and when the alarm went off at 4am I was that much closer to a melt-down.  I woke up exhausted.
Not the best way to start a more-than-full work week, but you suck it up and keep rolling.  By 10am tomorrow morning my sympathy in the gym might reach an all time low...

Father's Day was great with the fam....Sparkles was out of control.
I show up and she's running around in cheetah print pants replacing door nobs, preparing food, and basically giving me anxiety just watching the whole thing.

Yes, I was literally sitting on the toilet watching mom replace a door nob.
This is how I spend my Sunday afternoons.
Envious, I know.

The best though was walking around "the empire" as they like to call it.
It all of a sudden hit me that my parents are officially getting older.  Not because they have wrinkles or bladder issues, but because there is a growing amount of random crap collecting in the yard.  Statues, bird feeders, fountains, fire pit, chairs,...the list is overwhelming.
Even fairy houses...yes, that's right.  I don't want to have to explain this, but lets just say the grandchildren now believe fairies inhabit a certain tree at the Parker house.  As I watched a 2 year old lean down to talk with the fairies, I realized this is my future...And "normal" means absolutely nothing to us...
This is where mom would say "I'm sorry I'm an embarrassment...blah blah"....ha, definitely not embarrassed.  Entertained?  Yes.  Embarrassed?  No.
String up some Christmas lights and add a few tiki torches for all I care.  Throw the fairies a party.  More power to you mom.

In all seriousness though, I thought a lot about my dad this weekend and all that he's contributed to my nearly 30 years on this planet.
I can honestly say I admire my dad....as a parent, friend, coach, leader, and encourager.  There were certainly times I thought he was out to just make my life harder, but then amazingly I grew up and gained a new perspective.
If there is one thing I believe that man has not only taught me but also lived himself, its that true character is revealed in how you treat others who can offer you nothing.
I am beyond grateful for this example because the truth is we are all on this journey together...all equal...all seeking a sense of purpose, value, and confidence in who we are.
Thank you dad.

Well, that's a rap.  More to come tomorrow....and the countdown to my talk this Saturday (still taking questions via email to cover!)...
Have a great day folks.

Starting Points and Polly Pocket

This is what happens when I try to do work on the computer...

Oscar thinks its some kind of team effort, looks at the space available on the recliner, and then opts to jump in like he's the size of Polly Pocket.
He's not.
That joker is over 15 pounds, and I am reminded every time he uses my lap as a bounce house.  Ridiculous.

Well, it was a typical Thursday in the gym, with a few particular clients making huge personal strides...I love it.
I received a new client today, and it never ceases to amaze me how many people think they are too out of shape to work with a trainer.  Wait what?!  This sounds so absurd to me and yet I hear it all the time.  As if there is some level of fitness you have to reach on your own to then work with someone to work on the very thing you are having trouble with ON YOUR OWN.
Hello.
Where does this stem from?
Let me assure you of one thing,...everyone's starting point is different and it really DOES NOT MATTER where that is,...it is all relative.
It is my job, (and any other trainer), to meet you there but not leave you there.
Yes, unfortunately some people have poor experiences with trainers who were simply unable to read their clients' needs in terms of threshold, capabilities, and training-personality.  I hate that, but no reason to throw in the towel.  Get up, keep moving.
Come to me as you are.
Waiting another day is wasting another day.  Game time folks.

Its not even dark yet and I am 2 seconds from hitting the bed.
I am beyond tired, and have a full day ahead,...capped off with a hair appointment and dinner with my college gals.  Can't wait.  We'll tell stories, joke about life, cry about life, and then remind each other how awesome we are....this is what we do...and dammit we do it well.

And on that note, its bedtime...

Sparkles Blackout

Sometimes I think I blackout when I'm on the phone with my mom.
After about 7 minutes I hit a wall that is like some point of no return.  Next thing I know she's talking to herself and all the blood is rushing out my hand because I refuse to strap on a bluetooth headset.
I am not in the CIA (shocking), nor am I taking anyone's order, thus I will hold the phone with the phalanges God gave me, and pray I regain feeling before Sparkles is finished talking...
Its a challenge, not gonna lie.

Great day at work, which started a heck of a lot earlier than I'd expected.  I was up at 3am for some reason and struggled to fall back asleep. 
My stomach was growling like a infant on the boob, so I think I just didn't eat enough the night before.  My body is on such a ridiculous feeding schedule, I literally feel like I'm dying if I hit the 4 hour mark without food.  Horrible abdominal pain, and could fight almost anyone for something edible.  How people go all day without eating is beyond me.
Does this mean that you have to eat every 3 hours?  No,...everyone is a little different depending on caloric demands, metabolism, etc...BUT, the key is keeping your blood sugar stable and the best way to do that is by eating smaller meals more frequently.  I have some clients on 8 meals per day, 5 per day, 4 per day,...it just all depends.

Well, I am getting my "30 list" ready for all of you in a couple of weeks.  As I leave my twenties with grace and poise,...HA...pretty sure no one has ever used those words to describe me.  Ever. 
Fine.  I get it.
Not sure the 30's are ready for this mess, but here we go...

Socially Dysfunctional, Non-sympathetic Animals

Holy humidity.
If you're local you know exactly what I'm talking about.  Today was pretty unbelievable, and breathing amidst the haze is pretty much like trying to suck face on the tilt-o-whirl.
Impossible.
Not sure where that came from, but at this point in the day any thought process does not shock me.

Typical Monday in the gym...
Moms are getting stressed out about school ending and trying to figure out what the heck to do with their kids.  I get it.
18 years with those jokers is enough, and an 8 week span of day in and day out defiance is enough to send any sane person to the closet with some tissues, a stress-ball, and a handful of regrets.
I'm a big fan of overnight camps....week-long overnight camps.
Let them experience life-without-mom's-help for awhile,...perhaps wear a pair of dirty underwear and be disgusted with their own filth,...all in the name of a "learning experience."  The hope is they come back a little wiser and more appreciative of all mom/dad do.
Eh, sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't,...BUT it does give you a few days of quiet and break from making lunches and getting Johnny out of a headlock.  Am I the only one who experienced a sibling UFC match on a weekly basis?
...Funny how every "we're just playing mom" turns into tears and near bloodshed for the sake of bragging rights.  And always at the expense of mom getting upset thinking she raised socially dysfunctional, non-sympathetic animals.
Partly true.
Sorry mom.

Workout was great today, but I'd be lying if I said I felt 100%.  I was so tired just putting on my spandex (which usually gets me going, lets be honest), so I knew it was going to be a mind over matter workout.
I couldn't think about it, I just had to move.  Sometimes we have to allow ourselves to show ourselves what we are capable of.  Stop thinking, analyzing, convincing...just let our bodies GO.
Today was one of those days.
So when it came time for cardio (my fave, HA), there was only one thing to do....exactly what I didn't want to.
Not sure why I think this way, it just is.
After 30 minutes of jogging/incline walking I set the treadmill to a 6:58 pace and jumped back on for the last mile.  Minor cursing, but in that moment I needed it.  I was tired, but needed an "overcoming" moment.
Damn treadmill.

Homework:...ask yourself what your "overcoming" moment needs to be, and why you haven't done it...
Part II:...throw out the why and GO

Have a great night folks!

Life Hangover

2:30 on a Sunday and I am not at the pool.
Why?
I have no clue at this point.  However, I have been staring at this computer screen for the last 4 hours.  Somehow the desire to get work done beat out the desire to work on my bronze glow.
Its unfortunate.

I don't know what it is about Sunday mornings, but I wake up basically hungover from life.  This morning was no exception, and as I lifted my head I cursed myself for not keeping a Tylenol dispenser in the nightstand.  Why has that not been invented yet?  When you wake up looking and feeling as though you lost a fight with yourself somewhere around 2am, the last thing you want to do is actually get up to solve the problem.
This makes total sense to me.
Eh, I eventually got up.
6:32am....sleeping in like the rebel I am...

Sunday's workout is all cardio, so you can imagine my excitement to hit the pavement running after not being able to keep my coffee down.
The entire 5 miles was somewhere between "I might throw up in this person's lawn" and "you're not dying, shut up."
Positive self-talk does not work for me during a workout.  I've always been like that for some reason.  Everyone is different, but I know the second I start that hand-holding crap I will fade.  The most common (appropriate) phrase I repeat to myself is "shut up, just one more."  I may have to do it for every rep/mile, but it works for me.  Gotta find your language and roll with it.
Needless to say I was glad to be done running and look forward to hitting the weights tomorrow.

Short and sweet today folks.
Running some errands for my talk in 2 weeks.  Hope you locals are going to make it!!  June 22nd...you have nothing else going on that morning,...I promise.
Have a wonderful Sunday afternoon and get your mind right for the week ahead...

Smelly Peeps

This weather is miserable.
Don't get me wrong, I can appreciate a nice summer shower every now and then, but my God the monsoon outside makes me want to crawl in a hole head first with Michael Jackson's You Are Not Alone blaring in the background.
Slightly dramatic.

I'm currently on my 5th cup of coffee for the day, and even after a little nap I could go back for more.  Just one of those days.
Workout today was solid,...not great (was distracted), but challenging and exhausting so I won't complain.  I didn't take any clients today, and judging by the looks of things I would have been pretty useless.  I am spent.
I made my way to the grocery store and could hardly form coherent words to the cashier.
Pretty sure she thought I was drunk.
Understood.
Ironically the guy behind me smelled like a bar stool.  Literally,...wood, alcohol, and butt sweat.  That's all I will elaborate on that.
I was too tired to even give him the disappointed-and-mad-our-paths-have-crossed-because-you-smell-horrible look.
Its in those moments that I would sacrifice my sense of smell for like 5 bucks,...maybe 4.
Grocery shopping done.

I'll be completely honest, I definitely judge people by what they place on the conveyor belt.
I would venture to say that, on average, 80% of what is being scanned is not food.  Yes, we make choices and you certainly have the right to fuel your machine as you wish, but your stomach is not a trashcan.  As a whole, our definition of "food" is totally screwed up.
Instead of thinking natural, grown, or once alive, we think "anything that tastes good, you can swallow, and won't instantly kill you."  Absurd.
The list of things that definition could apply to is way too long...
**Good rule of thumb: When you turn over a packaged good and cannot picture each ingredient in its natural state, it should not go in your mouth.**
Does this mean you NEVER have processed foods or a splurge now and then?  No.  That's unrealistic and to say that I eat perfectly all the time is a lie.  BUT, at least 95% of the time, yes, you should strive for wholesome, REAL foods.
That's my sermon for the day.

As I sweat from the coffee, I am contemplating another nap.
Its amazing, even after all this coffee I can still fall asleep in approximately 28 seconds.  Its a gift.  Ok, actually, it just means I am sleep deprived and mentally foggy...

Sweat Problems and Pink Tights

Not even summertime and I am sweating like no other.
The whole "sweating like a whore in church" doesn't even touch it.  Perhaps if she were wrapped in a snuggie.
But I'm thinking whores don't wear snuggies.
Just a guess.
Point is, its not even 80 degrees and I am baking in my own little sauna over here.  I'd like to think its my through-the-roof metabolism.
Its not.
Its more likely a family curse because we all have it.  Mom's excuse is menopause.  Fine.  I'd claim that too if I wasn't 29 with normal hormones and a full-functioning uterus.
So basically the rest of us have no excuse, and "Dri-fit" means nothing....absolutely nothing.

I started the day with an early leg workout.  Not my preference, but my schedule is a little nuts this week and I needed to squeeze in an extra day of lifting.
Not a fan of leg day.
At any given moment, were you to offer me a leg day or kick to the throat, it might be a toss up.  Both leave me feeling like I might hurl.  And if the kick actually gave my backside a "lift" like lunges do, I might sign up for a weekly beating.
Everything went fine except for my attempt at back squats.  I haven't done them in over 2 months because of my butt/back issue, but things have been feeling a little better so I thought I'd try.
Ummm, yeah, that took about 2 reps before I thought I was either going to pass out or rip every muscle and tendon in the ol money maker.  It was horrible.  Pain is up, definitely irritated everything once again, and now I'm hobbling around like a 92 year old.
And if you're 92 with functioning joints and reading this, you should be offended.  I apologize.
Needless to say, I checked the workout off the list and I was happy to get on with my day. 

Its been a great day so far in the gym.
Athletes got in their sprints this morning, clients were focused and ready to roll,...I have no complaints.
I had a great conversation with a couple of ladies about children in sports, training, and how to decide when and what to place them in....
This comes up quite a bit probably because it's extremely popular now for kids to basically "choose" one sport and play it year-round.  On some level I'd argue that they are forced to.  With sports like soccer and baseball, the fact is that college scouts/coaches are rarely going to a ton of high school games anymore.  They are crowding the stands of the tournament teams on the weekends to be able to see numerous gifted athletes at one location.  It makes sense.  BUT it does make it hard for kids who have interests in more than one sport.  Yes, at some point an athlete will choose a focus, but that does not (and I would argue should not) happen at 9 years old.
Children need to experience an array of body movements, mechanics, and patterns to ultimately develop skills and build athleticism needed for every sport.  Does this mean they should be in an organized sport at the age of 4?  No.  And actually, trying to teach a 4 year old to be competitive on the field and yet "share" and "be nice" elsewhere is well, pretty damn confusing to them.  Period.
Bottom line: just keep them ACTIVE.  Whether its dance, playing dodgeball, learning to jump rope, playing freeze-tag,...they ALL work on basic body movement/awareness and mechanics and in a way that is safe and fun. 
The fact is when I see an athlete for the first time, I am handed a clean, but limited slate.  There are certain things such as instinct and natural athleticism that I or anyone else cannot teach.  Those are fostered early in life and some have it, and some don't.  Not to say athletes cannot improve,...they can,...but the degree to which is definitely individually based and contingent on factors such as fundamental starting point upon training, effort, and natural potential.  Skills are different.  Those can be taught and fostered with not as much dependency on natural talent.  Yes, natural talent certainly helps, but as the quote says "Hard work beats talent when talent doesn't work hard."
When it comes to skills this is certainly true for many athletes.

The bottom line from this conversation is this:...get your kids involved in ACTIVITY.  Don't initially focus so much on the sport at such a young age, but rather exposing them to a variety of movements and experiences that foster overall improved body mechanics/awareness.
Though I retired the tutu, I am truly grateful for my dance experience early on.  The pink tights were not necessarily my thing, BUT I cannot deny those calypsos and jete leaps didn't give this white girl some hops.  I'm pretty sure my volleyball coaches were grateful at some point...

Have a great hump day folks!

Botox and Beer

Woke up feeling like a Wipeout victim.
I mistakenly called Sparkles at 10:15pm thinking it would be a 2 minute conversation.  Not so.  15 minutes later there I am resenting my mom for her lung capacity during a single conversation.
Horrible daughter, I know.
Needless to say, I was pretty darn tired the second my feet hit the floor at 4am.  And when I made it to the bathroom to wash my face and attempt war-paint application, my eyes were drooping and forehead all furrowed so bad I nearly lost it.
Don't think for a second I wouldn't inject botox at 29.  I need to be able to move my joints, not necessarily my forehead...

Despite not getting enough sleep, it was a good day in the gym and I cannot complain about effort.  College kids were in go-mode at 6:30 this morning, and it was full steam ahead from there.
It definitely does not make me miss early morning practices.
What a small dose of hell.
And there are always a few that will boldly show up hungover.  On one hand, I have to commend them for their dedication to actually get out of bed and attempt sprints when they feel like death.  On the other hand, I have to laugh at their idiotic decision-making skills and hope they vomit at some point.
Get it out and keep rolling.
They're 21,...they'll live...

Speaking of alcohol, it blows my mind how much people think they can drink and still meet their fitness goals.  I feel like I deal with this ALL THE TIME.
I'll be completely honest with you, I've only had maybe 3 clients ever who I'd say could drink like fish and still manage to maintain/lose weight.  Do I agree with it in terms of health?  No.  But for whatever reasons, they could do it and though their livers hate them, I couldn't argue with the scale.
But those few people are certainly not the majority, and the truth is if you are trying to lose fat you need to stop taking shots like a sorority chick and refocus.
Its not just about the calories,...its everything that goes with it: the effect on your ability to burn fat, your hormones, metabolism, energy, late night eating that often occurs, and the list could go on...
People argue with me on this one like I am prying away an appendage.  Unbelievable.
Truth is, if you want to meet your goals that badly, you'll do what it takes.  Period.  Will it suck sometimes, sure.  But with every decision, you decide what you want more.
Does this mean you can never have another cold beer?  No.  But if your goal is to loosen up the death grip those jeans have on your waistline, I'd retire the weekend hobby of bonging beers on the back patio. (Which you should naturally do anyway after the age of 22...hello...)

Well folks, that's it for tonight.  8:15 and I am ready to hit the bed like a champ.
Have a great night and make Tuesday a path FORWARD!

Oatmeal or Cream of Wheat

Sunday night already,...wow.
Got my protein shake, pj's, and Real Housewives on in the background.
No need to judge me on the last one,...I judge myself.

I am pretty spent.
It was a cardio/core workout day and honestly it felt pretty darn good.  I know I know, I don't necessarily care for cardio, but I got it done and that felt better than the actual process.  Absolutely worth it.

It was a great weekend tat started off with some girl-time with Payton.

We had a blast,...between painting, baking, and learning the correct form of a cannon ball into the pool, it was an action packed 24 hours to say the least.
One of the highlights had to be bedtime.
Payton loves to tell/hear "silly stories" so she would make up these tales that only a 3 year old could conjure up, and then laugh hysterically at herself.  After a few minutes she turns to me and asks me to tell a silly story.
I began making up the most random story because, let's be honest, the only legitimate "silly" stories I knew should never be told to a minor...or family member for sake of avoiding blackmail.
I quickly realized my imagination was nowhere near that of a 3 year old, and I resorted back to stories that involved other family members to save face and maintain credibility.
More often than not, the stories began with "One time, your dad..."
I had a lot of material.

Saturday morning began with a speech about why my breakfast was ridiculous and that I should be eating oatmeal or cream of wheat.

I was eating asparagus and egg whites while being judged by someone who periodically pees their pants.
Not sure where to place that,...but there ya go.

All in all I seriously cannot believe how much that child has grown and the little girl she is turning into.  She was certainly the highlight of my weekend.
Here are a few pics from her field trip to Aunt Mena's...

Well folks, ready to roll next week.
College athletes back in town and the summer schedule in full swing.  Here we go...