Rest and Recharge

There are times when you struggle physically.  There are times when you struggle mentally.  There are times when you struggle emotionally.  And then there are those times when life throws a curve ball at your face and you conveniently struggle with all 3 at the same time.  That has been my week in a nutshell.
I was to the point today when I couldn't even make sense...I sounded ridiculous trying to formulate sentences and like I needed speech therapy.  I am spent.  In every area.  In every way.  Majority of my lifts were down in weight this week, mentally I was so stressed I wasn't sleeping well, and emotionally I've been about as stable as a busted tripod.

I had a client come up to me tonight and offer some much needed advice/wisdom.  She can simply look at me and tell something is up...and honestly, I can't BS with people or pretend life is a field of daisies when its not.  She reminded me that when you repeatedly try to give from an empty cup you AND the receiver are left with nothing.  You have to take care of YOU...whatever that means.  For some its a day at the spa, for others its a long bath,...whatever it is that energizes and "refills" you, do it. 
I needed to hear that.  I am all about productivity and being "on my A game" that I forget to step back and recharge. 
For me, I need a day by myself.  I need to come and go as I please, say as few words as possible, and simply be.  I value my quiet time because I have so little of it.  I am not saying every job does not carry its own set of stress and things that will simply wear you down, BUT unless you work with people, numerous people, on a daily basis, you don't fully understand the energy it requires.  Every single person has to be treated, motivated, and understood differently.  Tuning into that with each person is why am in love with and intrigued by what I do, but I would be lying if I said it doesn't drain the hell out of me.  Many nights I come home thankful for only 24 hours at a time.  God knows that's all we can handle.

Of course today was a long day, but a good day. 
My workout was harder than I should have been.  I had back and then sprints.  I honestly fought the urge to not do my sprints today.  I was clearly exhausted, my legs are extremely sore from yesterday's run and lift, and I did sprints Monday and Tuesday.  Needless to say it would've been easy to call it a day.  Ugh...but onward we roll.  I thought of Zimm and sort of pictured him yelling at me to just do it.  (For the record, he never yells at me, but for this moment in time I needed someone yelling obscenities in my ear to nudge me a little bit, ha).  Once I loosened up I was in the zone and rolling.  I had my headphones on so I couldn't hear myself sucking wind, and had to just take them one at a time.  If I sat there and thought about having 8 more left, or 6 more left I could feel my body sink into exhaustion.  One at a time.  I ended up running 17 sprints at 14mph.  10 seconds on, 40 seconds walk.  Since the number was not the same (50 seconds total instead of 1 minute), I had to pay more attention to my on/walk time which sort of kept my mind off of the fact that I thought my hamstrings would snap at any moment. 
I was glad to be done.

I am always amazed by the number of people that think they need to enjoy every single minute of training.  Ummm...no.  In fact, I think if you genuinely do, then you're not working hard enough.  Its ok not to like every aspect, but you do it.  You realize it is essential to meet your goals and you just do it.  Reminds me of when my mom used to always say "Sometimes life is about doing necessary things you don't want to do."  Ok, so she was referring to some family-reunion 4 hours away, but it still applies.  Thank you mom for your wisdom at the dinner table.

I'm looking at these brussel sprouts and really not sure if I can finish them.  You know you're tired when you take bigger bites than normal because its one less fork-to-mouth trip you have to make.  On that note I'm signing off for the night.  Homework is to figure out what recharges you and then seek to do it over the next few days.  We are not seeking perfection, but rather our best selves....an evolving process that is always one day at a time...