Monday, December 9, 2013

Subway Headbutts and City Pics

Back to rural reality....but oh what a weekend.
It was my NYC trip with two of my favorite people, and we certainly had an amazing time but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't excited to see some greenery flying back into North Carolina.  It was great to visit and experience, but not sure I could live there.
For starters, I learned that eye-contact meant 1 of 2 things: I want to see you naked, or I want to cut you.  ....I pretty much gave that up after a few odd stares and potential death wish.
The entire subway experience was a cultural study in itself.  Me and my girlfriends would laugh and carry on, and people just stared at us as if we were about to pass on malaria via the giggles.  No laughing, no talking, and don't get cocky with your balance skills when the thing starts moving.  I nearly bit the dust a couple of times and started a domino effect simply because I thought assuming a "defensive stance" was going to be enough.
I stand corrected.  No pun intended.
Then there was the option of sitting.  Sounds ideal after a day of wondering through the city for hours with self-induced shin splints and exhausted hips. 
Again, not necessarily the best choice.
Numerous times I found myself sitting there with someone literally right in front of me.....fine if my face was not inches from a strangers crotch or backside.  Pick your poison.  One wrong move and I'd have a hard time explaining a black eye.
As I gazed straight ahead, I was often caught in the dilemma "Am I looking at it,...or is it looking at me?"....Ah yes, the questions that plague the mind on the subway in New York...I have yet to validate a proper answer.

The weekend was full of many laughs, lots of walking, great scenery (people included), and amazing food.  Yes, from sushi to pizza to a true NY bagel, I had to experience it all and basically carb load for the winter.  Best pizza I've ever had, and I dominated it like it was my job.
People mistakenly think I eat like a rabbit and have a small appetite,...ha...not true.  No, I don't normally eat like I did this weekend, but will not deprive myself.  I will say that after my pizza coma, I slept for 9 hours...I may have blacked out,...not exactly sure.
However, today I was definitely happy to resume my "normal" eating schedule and what not...starting with 3 cups of coffee at 4am.  Merry Christmas to me.

Ironically, Happy Feet and Sparkles head up there in a couple of weeks.  I know, the Parkers are invading NYC....the world is simply not ready.
I gave dad a serious talk today about his creeping-tendencies before going up there.  I swear he will literally talk to e-v-e-r-y-o-n-e if given the chance.  He's the Wal-mart greeter of life, which is fine in some situations...emphasis on "some".  I told him though, if he starts that mess up there and ends up in a jumpsuit with one phone call and a prayer,...don't call me. 
Between his inability to keep his hellos and smiles to himself in public, and sparkles' inability to navigate a turn-style, debit card, or general directions, I seriously cannot wait to hear stories about this upcoming adventure.
God help everyone.

Well, today was back to the grind with clients and Christmas prep and and and...
December 9th...geez...pretty soon we'll be welcoming a new year with extravagant plans of resolutions and what not.  Yes, I will definitely address that issue in a couple of weeks...brace yourself...the onslaught of tough love is about to overwhelm you....

I will leave you with a few pictures from my girls weekend....



Some potential living room art...


Apparently I didn't come up with this word,...disappointing news I must say...

Damn that pole...








Sunday, December 1, 2013

Dick, Jane, and a Flogging..

Sunday pretty much flew by.
I rolled over at 5:30 this morning and basically gave my alarm the look of death, rolled back over, and resumed fetal position.
I prefer my left side.  Random factoid for your evening.

Despite being extremely tired all morning, I managed a workout without nodding off or cursing my own name.  But, not going to lie, it was one of those days when I was more than happy to be done.  Time to retire the spandex.....ok fine, for about 24 hours...

I made my way to the new Harris Teeter today.  They relocated my meat-men from the other HT over there (slightly perturbed), so I had to go visit.
I'm a sucker for great customer service.  Combined with fresh meat, my day is pretty much made and I'll assume we're friends for life.  We'll probably get matching bracelets.
All in all it was a solid shopping experience I capped off with some Starbucks before heading to meet a friend...
Apparently I wasn't thinking too clearly as I drooled over the Starbucks menu like the addict that I am, because I had to immediately head to Whole Foods to meet Kathryn.
Rule #2: Don't walk into Whole Foods with a Starbucks cup.
(Rule #1: Bring your own bag and wear running attire...whether you just ran is irrelevant)
With my coffee in hand, I might as well have thrown on a fur coat and held a "I'm against recycling" sign.  Yeah, I should have thought that one through a little more before risking a post-coffee flogging from random onlookers.

We sat there for over 2 hours solving all the world's problems except for our own.  Typical.
Laughing, crying, we had to cover the spectrum to complete the afternoon.  But the experience would not have been truly complete without the people watching. 
Thank God for window seats.
As we sat there discussing life, love, and the pursuit of all things non-cra-cra, we noticed a couple sitting outside with a table full of cards.  Back and forth, intense "play" of some sort, it was the most intriguing and yet boring thing I've witnessed. 
For a solid 20 minutes we couldn't figure it out,...and then ahh! he pulls out the box.
Lord of the Rings.
Lord of the damn Rings.
We're in there crying, marinading in sarcasm, and about to get sucker punched over a Starbucks cup, and meanwhile Dick and Jane are practically making out over a card game.
Life is indeed ironic and hilarious....

Well, I've got a full week ahead and then its off to New York with the gals!...I am beyond excited, but have a couple of big deadlines before then.  Ah yes, that's how it goes...
Here's to a new week folks...and holy crap its already December...