Stripper With Amnesia

Well, it was not my typical Thursday that's for sure.
I took the day off to get some things done and not feel so rushed for tomorrow morning before pictures.  Its already going to be crazy...
Applying body paint and then fake hooker-like lashes at 4am is always a test of coordination, patience, and sanity.
Mom was going to do apply the tan tonight, but with everything going on since my grandpa's death, she's extremely busy.  Understandable.
Thus, I am going to try and wing it myself,....mainly because of the list of friends who would willingly paint my bare rearend, I feel as though that is not a last minute phone call type thing.
"Pick me up from the bar"....fine.
"I am a mess and need to talk"...I'm on my way.
"Come paint my body brown".....seriously what is wrong with you and why do you suddenly hate me?
...That particular request needs a little mental preparation and a few shots of anything 80 proof.
Poor souls.
The day they signed up for this friendship they had no idea what it involved...

First day in months I haven't had any vegetables.  Absolutely none.  Last time that happened I had the norovirus and literally thought I was going to meet Jesus face down in the toilet.
Today it was only to avoid bloating for tomorrow.  Nothing hotter than a bloated chick in spandex. 
Pretty mush story of my life on any given day...

Little highlight from my morning...
I went to Kohl's this morning to pick up a few things.  As I'm wandering around like the retail nomad I am, this man makes eye contact, smiles, and says hi.  Naturally, to avoid the awkward I-am-trying-to-appear-nice-but-you-are-creeping-me-out look, I smile back.  I need to stop doing that...
He then asks "Do I know you?"....ugh..."No, I don't think so."  Then he proceeds to say I look familiar and ask if I am a dancer.
.....which, is basically the nice way of asking me if I am a stripper.
I laughed. 
I told him I was allergic to metal.  Thus, my dreams of flying around a pole like peter pan were shot.
"Are you sure?".....wait, what?  Like I suddenly developed amnesia and forgot I stripped for a living last weekend, but today I'm casually shopping through the home decor fully clothed...
Idiot.
That was pretty much the end of the conversation. 
All before 11am....I need to just stay at home.
And no, I'm not allergic to metal,...I simply didn't cross the line of total familial dysfunction to send me searching for myself "in the rain"...

Well, I am spent.
Busy morning, and hopefully I will have some photos up soon!  Night folks...