Ryan survived 2 days without ESPN, and I managed to only use the bathroom once during a 3 hour ride. Unbelievable. I may have been on the verge of dehydration, but I was determined not to be "that person" who needed to stop in every county. Ironically, by the time we did stop on the way there I was waiting to use the bathroom behind an 80 year old and a 7 year old. Pretty fitting....story of my life.
The weekend was a blast, and having my entire family there was amazing.....and comical.
Some things will only happen to my family.
Mainly my mom.
We're not even there 24 hours and she already managed to make a name for herself. This story goes into the Susan-vault-of-I-was-caught-in-my-happy-place moments...
Everyone was convening in the conference center getting ready for our first session. Everyone was grabbing last minute drinks and bathroom trips before going in. Dad tells us to save him and mom a seat. We didn't question this, assuming that dad was either headed to the free frozen yogurt pump for the 4th time in 2 hours, or he would stand and greet strangers like he often does in public. (Calling him Creeper seems to have no effect,...we've tried).
Anyway, we all go in and later see mom and dad walk in and actually sit on the front row. What we DIDN'T know was that they were about to stand up and speak in front of everyone. My mom's face was suspiciously red...
Well, when everyone was going to the bathroom, mom decided to go as well. However, mom apparently cannot read signs and went in the Mens restroom. Most women would have immediately noticed the...uh...LINE OF URINALS, and thought something to the effect of "Holy crap, I don't have a penis, something is not right." Not mom. Nope, she pranced her happy self straight passed a row of urinals, went to a stall, used it, and proceeded to wash her hands. It was at that moment that it clicked. She sees in the mirror a line of men behind her, backs turned, and she panics. Instead of simply quietly creeping out like a smart-but-clearly-wrong person, she puts her hands over her eyes and starts screaming "SOMEONE LEAD ME OUT OF HERE...SOMEONE LEAD ME OUT OF HERE!!"
So naturally, one of the men probably missed the target and messed himself at the sound of this shreak, zips up, and leads her out. You would have thought the woman walked away from a war zone.
We didn't let her live this one down the entire weekend.
I escorted her to the bathroom twice after that...we weren't taking any chances. My God, she was going to get us kicked out.
Peeping Tom,....but not.
Peeping Tammy.
Nice job mom. You make us proud.
The best part was that she immediately had to walk into the conference and speak in front of a couple hundred people. HA. Not sure which is more disturbing....that my mom can walk in and use a mens bathroom without knowing and have a mental breakdown. Or that we find it funny and show very little empathy.
Eh,...still funny.
The other big news was that I went on a 7 mile mountain hike. For the record, I don't do "nature." If I go camping, its not on purpose and you might need to send a search party. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate nature, I just don't want to wallow in it. We were soaked and smelled horrible by the end. The view was worth it, but the second I had to pop a squat over a suspicious plant I was pretty much ready for a cold plastic seat and flush button. Just being honest.
Tomorrow its back to the grind. My Monday is going to be nuts. Long day, but a great day ahead. Its birthday week folks :) 29 here I come...game time...
I am laughing so hard...I really don't know what else to say. Except that I can't judge because I've done something similar (more than once). I didn't realize this trip was a family thing...that's awesome. I hope you have more stories to share :)
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