Focus Forward

There are moments in my day when I am made well aware that my level of patience is equivalent to that of a newly potty trained 2 year old.
Today, that moment occurred at 5:15am.
I'm driving up to a railroad crossing and just as I'm approaching, its like time stood still and my personal episode of Back To The Future was about to end in sheer disappointment.  I didn't make it.  I was going to sit there for what would be the longest 2 minutes and 41 seconds of my day.
I could just picture my mom smiling and saying "Its ok dear, just practice patience..." 
Oh for the love of God.
What's my other option?  I choose that. 
Needless to say, I survived it.....and am no more patient than before the flashing red/white bars slowly lowered and killed my dreams before 6am.
Sorry mom.
Shine on dear woman, shine on....

Well, I'm not quite 100% from being sick this weekend, but today was the best day I've had since pre-turkey fest.  I felt stronger, wasn't breathing like a smoker, and made it through a tough back routine and some cardio.  And honestly, I actually enjoyed my cardio.  Crazy, I know, but I was just thankful to not be moving like a polio-infected amoeba.

* * *

On a more serious note...
There are many areas within my career that I am passionate about, but one that truly hits home is women's health and in particular, self-perception.
I am always blown away by the number of females who genuinely struggle with their self-image on a DAILY basis.  More than the I'm-feeling-bloated days here and there...but rather, a deep seeded insecurity masked behind a smile and continual strive for the "ideal" that does not exist. 
As I spoke with a woman today about it I could literally feel myself getting heated because I wanted to shake some sense into her. 
Its a shame to see a beautiful, athletic, healthy woman beat herself up over NOTHING and choose to live in pit.  Do I think events and circumstances contribute to our self perception?  Absolutely.  But at the end of the day, we have a choice.  We can stay in the unhealthy cycle of illusions and perfection-driven habits, or we can break the cycle and dare to not just apathetically accept who we are, but THRIVE and GROW. 
I've heard it a thousand times...You don't understand because you've never had kids and have stretch marks......You don't get how tough it is to watch yourself get older.......Things change and I can't wait until you're  -- years old....
Ok, you're right.
I don't have kids.  I'm 29, not 49.  I get it.
Here's to the extent I understand...
I cannot move like I did when I was playing volleyball, running track, and playing softball.  I cannot eat whatever I want and expect optimal results.  And dear Lord, my inner thighs do not look the same they did a decade ago.
Those of you 10 years older roll your eyes.  Fine.  The woman 10 years older than you rolls hers.  And the woman at the top of the food chain gives us all the finger.
That's life and this game could go on and on.

Here's the deal...at some point we accept age and body changes for what they are WITH the understanding that it is our responsibility and ours alone to take care of it.  Will "FIT" at 30 look the same as fit at 20?  No.  Will "fit" at 50 look the same as fit at 30?  No.  Why should we expect it to?  Dare to believe that you are constantly creating a better version of yourself.  The journey continues and the best is yet to come...focus forward.  You can either make it great and embrace the opportunity to love and appreciate yourself/health, or you can drive yourself crazy seeking validation in an unattainable goal.
It is a choice.

Sincerely, my desire for all women is this: 
Respect your body.  Take responsibility.  Keep moving forward. 


Its been an exhausting day on so many levels.
I need sleep, a little refocus, and for that horrible train to wait until after 6am to pass...

What Were We Thinking?...

Looks like we all survived Thanksgiving, the ungodly amount of food, and those family moments when you're amazed the tree is still standing.  I totally get it.
Mine was eventful, and yes, I did eat pretty much whatever I wanted...my pancreas was pumping out insulin like a slushy machine and at some point I think I was sugar drunk.  I honestly have no clue how people eat like that on a regular basis.  I was more than ready to eat healthy the next day.

And by "next day" I mean waiting in line in Target with Kelly and Sparkles...

It was a site.
She literally looked like this all night.  ALL NIGHT.  I had to talk her out of buying that elf hat.  I shouldn't have to do that....
I have no clue why we torture ourselves staying up all night for the sake of a few gifts.  Believe me, we questioned our own sanity more than once...especially in Kohl's, as Kelly and I waited for an hour and a half in line.  The woman in front of us had a giant toy firetruck that kept lighting up and making a siren noise loud enough to make you wish you were deaf.  I was 2 seconds from destroying that thing right there. 
What a night.
We had a blast, took coffee to the face more than once, and at 8am I finally made it home and crawled in bed.

And that was pretty much the end of my normal Thanksgiving break.

Friday afternoon I started feeling weird, and by Saturday morning I could hardly take 10 steps without being out of breath or wanting to throw up.
There was that moment face-down in the toilet when I thought I might hack up my spleen, and Oscar just stared at me like I needed to just suck it up and take it like a champ.  I hated that feline right then... Like he can throw up hairballs the size of a ferret but I'm not ever allowed to be sick.
Dumb cat.
Fittingly, I later had to clean up his vomit.
Story of my life.

I spent the day in the recliner watching Hallmark movies.  Bad actors.  Bad plots.  But I figured if I felt horrible I might as well watch horrible tv.  Makes no sense I realize, and yet this is how my mind works.  It was a long day.
But my dear friend brought me some meds and soup.  Granted, she wouldn't get within 6 feet of me, but I didn't blame her.
She didn't ask what she could do she just DID.  Awesome gal.

Today has been much better than yesterday, and I was actually able to eat food for the first time since Friday afternoon.  Still have not had coffee.  Let's not talk about it.  I battled a caffeine headache from hell until about 2pm. 
If I can't have any tomorrow you might see me on the news.

Back to the grind tomorrow.  I truly cannot wait to feel 100%....yes, I probably take good health for granted until I'm face-down hovered over the very spot I've sat on.  Life is humbling at times.

Have a great night folks, and ready to roll tomorrow!

A few Thanksgiving pics...