Self-Checkout and Hit-and-Run

Every time I consider doing the "self-checkout" at Harris Teeter, I need a bystander to kindly come up and basically get me in a choke hold until I cry uncle and limp to another line.
It never fails that something won't scan properly, produce numbers are "invalid" or the machine practically blows up.  So then I'm left cursing my inability to master such a task as following instructions from a machine that was apparently manufactured in hell.
Today, the attendant literally had to walk over 3 times to key something in...I was that customer.  The 3rd time it happened the woman waiting behind me just laughed, and I briefly considered the sacrifice of being escorted out of there for the sake of making a point to her and her chuckle...
My patience is often about as good as that of an angry child.
And I should honestly know by now that going through the self-checkout with a ton of produce is inefficient and causes a headache for all parties involved.  Mainly me.
It's ironic if you think about it that self-checkout basically means I-don't-work-here-but-let-me-do-your-job-for-you.  When I say it like that, its not as appealing and quite frankly irritates me even more that I got in the line to begin with.
I'd possibly rather get behind the woman with a scrapbook full of coupons and a screaming child who apparently hates life, the word "no", and me.
Longest 15 minutes ever and happens to me more than you'd think.
Please explain the reasoning behind stockpiling mouth wash and dish detergent like everyday is Armageddon.  When the ship goes down, guess what you're not going to need?  Mouth wash and dish detergent.  Amazing.
Stop kidding yourself, its glorified hoarding. 
No, I don't clip coupons, shocker....if I happen to scroll across one to save me a dollar, awesome,...but to sit down and create a book and then proceed to piss off everyone behind me in line, is simply not worth it.  Evidently it only takes me 2 avocados and some faulty bar codes in the self-checkout to achieve that.

Weekend was good...
I caught up with some friends, had a lovely dinner with my girl Katherine,...

...and am now getting ready for a more-than-full week.  My body hates me, and to say I'm tired is an understatement, but onward we roll.
I've got a shorter work week that is capped off with a golf tournament out at Treyburn.  I was out there last year and it was great to meet the players, gain clients, and basically watch men talk trash to one another at 9am on a Thursday.
Men never seem to change in that regard...

I went for a jog tonight and my body is simply not used to night-time workouts anymore.  I thought I was going to throw up for the last 20 minutes,....and as I'm passing a group of kids on the last stretch it was all I could do not to get trampled by a power wheels while avoiding projectile vomit on a 6 year old.  At that point I was almost hoping he'd take me out at the knees so I'd face plant and be out of my misery.
Pretty sure that would have sparked a phone call and an explanation that wouldn't have mattered, lets be honest.  You go to your neighbor to borrow a tool, say hello, not to explain why you threw up on their child.  Period.
Even after my dinner, I still don't feel 100%...which better change before 4am for the sake of everyone tomorrow...

On that note, I am headed to the 'ol bed...

NY Bound and Oral Issues...

Where do I begin...

Since Monday I'm fairly certain my ability to run on adrenaline and a relatively high dose of protein+caffeine+sarcasm has increased tenfold.  At least I'm not in denial about it....however, any attempt to change such is met with complete rebellion.

Its been a busy week with clients, other business work, and....booking my girls weekend in NY!  Believe it or not, this caboose has never made it to the big city.
I know.
Almost anti-American.
Thus, after being on this planet 30 years, it was well over-due.
I am going with 2 women I basically grew up with through middle school, volleyball, college, and after seeing my bare rearend more times than any person should, remain my friends.
So when I get an email verifying the hotel and informing me to pack my party pants, naturally I pack a helmet as well.
I like to be prepared.  Apparently for parties and concussions.
Ironically, Sparkles and her side kick Happy Feet are going up 2 weeks later.
New York, brace yourself.  The Parkers are coming.

So, I'm about to expose an oral issue.  And when I say "issue" its more like an addiction...but issue sounds better.  Lets go with that.
A little over a year ago, I was challenged to give up chewing gum for a month.  Sounds pretty simple and yet by day 3 I was ready to strangle a goat for the sake of 2 orbits and a slab of Wrigley's.  Perhaps more of it has to do with the fact that if I don't have gum in my mouth I am constantly yawning.  Slightly problematic when counting to 10 while someone is sucking wind and cursing my existence.  I can't time-out for a yawn,...practically like kicking them while their down.
Therefore, I chew.
And literally chew until my jaw hurts and the gum has a beef-jerky texture and is causing arthritis in my face.
All that to say that with the stress and what not of late, my "oral issue" has only gotten worse and I need to swear it off completely.  I don't do moderation with gum.  I know my limitations.  I mean my God, I walked up to the BP counter after work with 3 packs of gum and some tic-tacs,....the lady looked at me like threw condoms, a handy snack, and a roll of duct tape up there.
$6 worth,...knowing that had I waited to get to Sam's Club I could have bought a case for that amount, stood behind the person buying 10lbs worth of beenie weenies, and completely avoided the judgement altogether.
But there I was, getting my fix for $6.
A weakness exposed.  There ya go.
God help everyone when I give it up.  Suddenly I feel like a smoker, but with better breath and ok, a decreased chance of death.
Ok, not the same, bad analogy.
You get the point.

Time for bed.
Back at it again tomorrow for another long day...