A First For Me...

Holy Monday.
After a full weekend of friends, cookouts, work, and the inevitable arthritis from typing, the 4am wake up call was a punch in the throat.
HOWEVER, when Bell Biv DeVoe's "Poison" comes on the radio during my commute, I am convinced its going to be an awesome day.  "Never trust a big butt and a smile" - words of wisdom and perhaps one of the best lyrical bum-references ever.
Nothing like a time travel back to 1990 with my scrunchy, lace leggins, and the buds of an aspiring ability to drop it like its hot.
I started early...

It was a great day with clients, as people are starting to embrace the fact that summer is coming to an end and getting the kids out of the house feels like Christmas in August.
No judgement.
I get it.
For some it is like having a crappy roommate for 18 years,...sometimes 30.  Who knows.
So when the school bell rings, that is freedom my dear friends,...at least for a few hours.

I had quite an interesting conversation with a woman this afternoon...
She stopped in to check out the place and get some info,...but I soon found out why she nearly asked for a urine sample.
To make a long story short, she summed it up like this...
"I hate gyms.  Sweaty people gross me out.  I hate to work out.  I don't want to use machines.  I'm not completely stupid, but I want someone to show me what I can do on my on, but only things I want to do because I want fast results."

For those of you who know me well, you know I was fighting laughter, shock, confusion, and the urge to pause her long enough to record this on my phone.
THIS was a first.
I've encountered bits and pieces of all those issues, but throwing them all in one human being was quite the site. 
First, let me address the "I am not completely stupid" phrase....Just a thought:
If you feel the need to begin a sentence with "I am not completely stupid" to a stranger who ultimately has no preconceived reason to think you are stupid, there's a high likelihood that they will then be on the fence about it.
There is only one place I will assume people are idiots, and that is on the road...and for good reason.

Second, this attitude is honestly the very thing that will keep her from her goals.  Not her ability, not her schedule, not even her preference to neglect machines.  In short, she wants to do what SHE wants to do with no regard to appropriate reason/method/realistic expectations.  
Would I work with her?
Sure.  BUT, the fact is that until she opened herself up and allowed me to basically do my job, it would be a tug of war with a rather stubborn anchor.  "Stubborn" is the nice way of putting it...
Look mom, I'm growing.

Yes, I was completely honest with her about "where she was" in all of this,...that went over about as well as ripping a band-aid from your face...but, I had to be honest with her.
In the end she was grateful, but still freaked out by sweat.
We'll see where this goes...

Well, that's a rap for now.  ARTICLE WILL BE POSTED TOMORROW!!

...Secretly hoping Poison comes on again at 5am...

Braid It or Shave It

My productivity level on a Saturday morning is pretty unbelievable.
No, I'm not chasing kids around so I should get a lot done, but the Sandman just may have slipped me some speed at 5am.  I was up and ready to roll.

Perhaps I needed to make up for my somewhat lazy day yesterday.
I worked in the morning, but after that I hit the pool.  I get a call from Happy Feet and Sparkles at 10am that they are on their way up to join me.
Dear Lord.
Honestly, it was a good time, but at one point Dad was trying to justify not learning how to text, giving me a lecture on technology while rubbing through his chest hair.  Its weird, but its what he does if his shirt is off. 
Finally I had to stop the madness.
"Dad, I can't take you seriously with chest hair that looks like an overflow of Santa's beard.  Get it under control."
That led into a brief and disturbing conversation about waxing...of which I was reminded that over 50% of my dysfunctions are sitting beside me...
One in a sparkle foam visor, and the other in much need of a razor and a cell phone tutorial.

Seriously though, I needed the pool-side-nap(s).
I was out.
Body was tired, brain was tired,...it was perfect timing to get some vitamin D.

Now I've got to work on my article and a few things for the book.  It is truly a bit by bit process.  BUT, I am very excited to put this together.
Photoshoot is booked and ready to roll with that,...so now I'm putting together all my outfits and whatnot.  It will be a combination of fitness pics as well as casual/fashion shots.  I like edgy and different, so we are going to do some cool shots with the fitness stuff this time...
I informed Sparkles she'd have to paint me again,...her wit is coming along "story of my life...painting your butt"....some truth to that.
She's a trooper.
Thanks mom.

Ok, onto the next item on the to-do list...
Make it a great day folks.